The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test

Your Score: The Prioress

You scored 7% Cardinal, 69% Monk, 52% Lady, and 27% Knight!

You are a moral person and are also highly intellectual. You like your solitude but are also kind and helpful to those around you. Guided by a belief in the goodness of mankind you will likely be christened a saint after your life is over.

You scored high as both the Lady and the Monk. You can try again to get a more precise description of either the Monk or the lady, or you can be happy that you're an individual.

http://www.okcupid.com/tests/7809636052692681167/Who-Would-You-Be-in-1400-AD

my little rugrat

my absence has not gone unnoticed. a few people have asked me what's happened, since i'm usually pretty regular in my postings.

yeah, i've been away a long, long time.

and for good reason too.

i've been grouchy, moody, grumpy, angry, barfy and all the usual hormone-induced emotions and physical ailments that are included in the pregnancy package.

that's right. i'm going to be a mumsy to a third kid, the poor unfortunate soul.

all the stuff i love to do i now hate - including reading and writing. in short, i hate EVERYTHING. all i want to do is to crawl into some hole and hide till it's all over.

i'm terrible company, as some of my regular lunch companions would confirm, since i have strong food aversions and my crummy appetite is aggravated by nausea and the frequent retching. i'm exhausted all the darn time, and sleep is never enough.

with no desire to hang around savoury edibles and equipped with zero social skills, i'm thankful for the brave few who have been sticking around, giving me the much-needed emotional support as i trudge through my horrendous first trimester. (this pregnancy is by far the most difficult one for me possibly because of i'm older and i have 2 monsterinas to placate.)

the little rugrat is due mid to end april - and i'm still inflicted with bouts of nausea. i've thrown up quite a bit of food over the past few weeks and although i'll be embarking on my second trimester soon, my morning/afternoon/night sickness hasn't disappeared.

i can't believe i'm going through pregnancy for the third time.

WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING?!?!?!??!!?!

i'm beginning to doubt if i'd done the right thing by co-creating and in a couple of months, delivering another child into this world - one who'll be eventually challenged by a stressful education system and face other cruel atrocities of life.

don't get me wrong - i love my kids. my maternal instincts just don't go beyond the boundaries of my own children. i'm not who'll coo at strangers' babies unless they are frightfully adorable. i detest pesky, rowdy kids who scamper up and down the buses, MRT trains and make a general nuisance of themselves.

but then again, it's pretty evident that i'm not too good with kids, especially since mine don't belong to the most obedient, well-behaved and disciplined species. in fact, i'm not too confident of making the passing grade that's required to be a decent mother. (i guess it depends on who's setting the assessment criteria.)

ah. my poor little rugrat. if only you knew what's in store for you when you make your appearance next year.

weaning blues

the hub sent me a random sms in mid august:

"shuwen is a momivore according to baby blues. because she drinks from mommy."

i've been searching for the comic strip and finally found it:-


source: http://www.babyblues.com/Testing/index.php?formname=getstrip&GoToDay=08/23/07

it got me a little emotional because wen's been weaned off quite recently, about 3 weeks back. but it wasn't quite as terrible as xian's experience.

xian was weaned off at 25 months. with my firstborn, we were literally forced apart and placed in separate bedrooms at night - i could hear her wails as i sobbed into my own pillow. it was a horrible heart-wrenching period for the both of us, and i was determined not to foolishly cave in to others' "well-meaning" advice with wen.

wen was about 24 months plus when i decided that she should slowly reduce her reliance on me to fall asleep. it was becoming very trying for me and, as usual, i was receiving plenty of opposition with regard to my decision to breastfeed wen till she self-weaned. that, plus certain circumstances regrettably forced me to arrive at the conclusion that wen had to stop breastfeeding.

it took 3 weeks, truckloads of tears and many sleepless nights for her to break the 'nan' habit. of course she still misses breastfeeding and would point at her automatic milk dispenser once in a while. i didn't stop abruptly but reduced the feeds to once every few days, then eventually she went a week without drinking from me. last saturday, she tried to latch on and cried when she realised that i'd stopped producing milk. my heart went out to the poor girl, and to be honest, i was a little torn up inside myself.

if given the choice, i'd have much preferred for wen to decide on her own when she's had enough of breastfeeding. it's just a pity that wen had to experience this trauma which i'd so badly wanted to save her from. for the uninitiated, breastfeeding is more than just providing the baby/child with milk. it's a special bond between mother and child that cannot be easily replaced.

breakfast with trudi? alas, not me!

i was on the bus, on my way to work this morning when i received an sms - it was an overseas number which i didn't recognise:

"must show off a bit, just had breakfast with trudi canavan - devin."

i very nearly fell off my seat.

trudi canavan!!!

the author of the black magician trilogy and the age of five trilogy!!!!!!

now is that cool or is that COOL???!!!?!?!??!?!!!

note: devin's at conflux now - chairing a panel and participating in others.