definitely more EQ than IQ

Your EQ is 153

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

what 2004 hit song am i?

This Love by Maroon 5

"I was so high I did not recognize The fire burning in her eyes The chaos that controlled my mind" You were so great in 2004 that you make everyone a little bit sick!

What 2004 Hit Song Are You?

gender of my brain

Your Brain is 93% Female, 7% Male

You have the brain of a girly girl Which isn't a bad thing at all You're emphatetic, caring, and in tune with emotions. You're a good friend and give great advice.

What Gender Is Your Brain?

weekend with the hub part 2

as promised, here's part 2 of my time-out "dates" with the hub.

the present count thus far: a movie treat, 2 PC games and a home-cooked dinner of beef steak, carrots, mushrooms, corn and escargots (bought from carrefour). this was on friday. our typical weekend schedule resumed on saturday and sunday - which means, of course, time with the girls and hub's family. my 2 older nieces, eileen and cheryl had borrowed a baking book from the library and it was decided that we'd all do some baking on sunday itself (hub's actual birthday) since they wanted to use our oven.

it was a mess, of course. xian and her cousins went wild with the cookie cutters, chocolate drops and sprinklies. but the girls had their share of fun though they were obviously spared the cleaning-up - which was naturally, er, less fun.

anyway, both the hub and myself had applied for leave on monday. my initial plan was to serve him lamb chops (one of his favourite western dishes) and i didn't like the idea of a last minute-rushed meal i had to conjure up on friday night. after the hub sent xian off to school, and with wen sound asleep, i was able to potter about in the kitchen leisurely to prepare the food. we picked xian from school and dropped the girls back at MIL's to have their lunch and afternoon nap. then we returned home to our haven @ arif, i cooked and we sat down to have a *peaceful* lunch. so that's his 4th gift. the 5th is here.

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............

i love my 2 girls immensely, but sometimes i do need a short break from them. think the hub would agree with me on that point.

of course, with the extra time on my hands i did a little facial mask-slapping exercise and took a luxuriously afternoon nap while the hub answered office calls/emails (i know he's supposed to be on leave, but that doesn't stop him from working) and watched TV till it was time for our evening "date", a corporate function.

no matter. a date's a date right? gotta look spiffy and presentable, which was what we both tried to do. heh.

the hub was invited to sentosa for the launch of Songs of the Sea, which is to replace the old Musical Fountain (to make way for the up-and-coming integrated resort). the last time we visited sentosa was for the Sentosa Flowers Festival 2007 during CNY with the girls. the last time we visited sentosa without the kids was a loooong time ago. before we got married.i'm not one to be easily "wowed" by tacky attractions. guess this haughtiness comes with age, having "been there, done that". but it was nice, sweet, warm feeling to be strolling with the hub down to the beach where they'd built an outdoor amphitheatre for the show.

on the way to the show, we passed by the Sentosa Express Beach Station foyer. they'd decorated the place with marquee tents (for food), soft colourful lights hanging from the trees and glittering bulbs embedded in the ground to create a romantic, sea-like atmosphere.

it was...*rather* lovely. :D

i bet no expense was spared for this event. i stopped the hub midway and snapped a couple of pictures - for memories' sake, since we probably have to wait a couple more months, or even years before we can arrange another exclusive hub-wifey-only outing.

we were then ushered up the steps into the amphitheatre and took our seats near the back. the place was already 3/4 filled, mostly with media folks (it's the official opening ceremony after all) and industry watchers.

and so we sat...

...and waited...
...and sat...

...and waited...

and i decided emulate the typical Gen-Y thing: take our own picture. awful angle which makes us both look like we have humongous faces! but, what the heck...

before the show started and since it was the official opening, the sentosa bigwigs and G-O-H delivered their speeches first. there were laser shows, lotsa singing, fire displays, water-sprouting fountains and fireworks. the next few pictures are self-explanatory:

looking back, i think the show itself wasn't spectacular, and i think the pictures made it more exciting than it really was. but that's my jaded opinion. :X

it was then time to check out the buffet spread. as usual, the queues were snaking all over and we were contemplating to leave and have dinner somewhere else. but the kiasu singaporean trait burned in my system passionately, and we lingered around to join the shortest possible queue around just to sample the food...

it *had* to be the salad/sushi tent. hub complained jokingly that i *had* to pick the vegetable tent for the meatosaurus.

we ended up staying for dinner as the crowd thinned (these people rushed out to pile on their plates immediately after the show, ate their share and left fairly quickly). no regrets staying on. our tummies were most-contentedly filled :) there was also free flow of beverages - we each had white, then red wine and soft drinks. the hub downed some beer too. unfortunately i'm a terrible drinker and my system's not too good with alcohol so my heart started pounding wildly and i tried to flush out the wine with more 7-Up. that's why i don't drink.

hub and i left sentosa at about 9pm. the night was young, but reality hit us: we'd to rush back to attend to the kids.

and that, my friends, was the end of my little tête-à-tête with the hub. almost 2 days spent chatting idly about whatever we fancied. and i'm looking forward to another one of these sessions. whenever. wherever.

My Anchor

as with tradition, here's a poem i wrote for hub's birthday this year.

My Anchor

There's an annual exercise
That forces me to strain my brain
To conjure a birthday special for you
And it's that time of the year again

Dabbling with words is my only skill
The one thing tonnes of money can't buy
It's on this linguistic platform
That heavily I rely

So I sit and sip my iced Milo for inspiration
Waiting for my creativity to spark
But try and try and try as I might
I'm getting nowhere with my rotten luck

I scribble some mushy rhyming couplets
Somehow they don't sound quite right
Abandon thoughts of giving up
'Cos I refuse to go down without a fight

Seconds then minutes tick by
I'm getting pretty infuriated
Miffed that my thoughts aren't flowing as planned
There's no doubt I'm utterly frustrated.

I get up to walk about
A change of pace some good it'll do
Slowly ideas and words take shape
A simple message that I have for you

This is the day you turn 34
Take stock of all you've achieved
So step back to survey your life
Quite a mean feat, what you've accomplished

There'll always be cravings of desire
Peaks you aim to bravely scale
Comparisons made to worthy peers
In which sometimes you may pale

But there's more to life than status
Physical possessions and materialistic wealth
Other elements often left in gross neglect:
Family, Love, Faith and Health.

Let go of cankerous old grudges
Let ancient wounds heal themselves
Leave Hatred and Negativity where they deserve
Right up on the dusty shelves

And if ever in the darkest of moments
Should the light fail and you lose your way
Always remember the girls and I will be there for you
Come what may

We love you for who you are
You are our rock, our pillar of strength
The mighty anchor in life's choppy waters
And for us I know you'll travel any length

Finally, my sincere wish for you this year:
Peace of heart, mind and soul
Happy Birthday my dearest love
Smile, you're 34 years old.

Teo Yuan Ching
25 March 2007

Copyright © 2007 Teo Yuan Ching

weekend with the hub part 1

it's been a really long, extended weekend and one of the best in recent times because i got to spend almost 2 whole days with the hub. had taken leave on friday to celebrate hub's birthday earlier as we thought it would be a nice change to go out on our own, just some couple time-out without the kids.

as the hub could only leave the office in the afternoon, i trooped down for my yoga class first before meeting him later at his office. as usual, by the time he was finally ready to leave, it was too late to eat a decent lunch as we had to catch the movie hub was eager to watch...

...what else but the gritty, gripping, gory 300 directed by Zack Snyder and based on Frank Miller's graphic novel of the same name which was inspired by the historical Battle of Thermopylae between the greeks and invading persian army. if the name Frank Miller sounds mighty familiar, that's because he's the dude responsible for the graphic Sin City.

i tell ya, it's a guy thing. the hub loves macho, adrenaline pumping war movies generously peppered with severed body parts, spilled guts, decapitated heads, strategic long-drawn battles - the bloodier the better. throw in a few strong, sexy, curvy va-va-voom ladies for eye candy and viola! the perfect recipe for masochistic mayhem.

and of course being the faithful wife that i am, i agreed to watch the movie even though i shut my eyes tightly before heads start to roll off the lifeless bodies. (being an ex-film student means that i can accurately pin-point the exact moment of gorification.)

*yikes*

well, it's his birthday after all. actually, i've come to enjoy the epic war productions like LOTR, Troy, King Arthur, Kingdom of Heaven etc. possibly very heavily influenced by the hub over the years. and i was expecting lots of dramatic fighting scenes. but i must admit that two things threw me off guard in this movie.

number 1:

are their bodies for REAL??!?!?!

check out those six, no, eight pieces of perfectly sculptured abdominal muscles on those washboard tummies! these spartans are superbly skilled, human fighting machines and if looks could kill, their drool-worthy abs are to die for.

and amidst the pool of the toned, muscled bodies i spotted a familiar face of *gasp* David Wenham who was LOTR's sensitive and loyal Faramir and Van Helsing's friar sidekick Carl! he's one of my all-time favourite actors who's highly versatile and slips into his screen persona very easily. i nudged the hub and pointed out this fact - and received no reply as he was obviously captivated by the action on the large screen.

number 2:

xerxes. rather, the gorgeous Brazilian hunky actor Rodrigo Santoro who's totally unrecognisable in thick immaculate make-up, golden tan, mascaraed lashes and drawn arch eyebrows. and there's not much cloth on him either, much like the other actors who are supposed to be spartan soldiers.

his androgynous portrayal of the exotic, hairless, body-pierced and bejewelled evil god-king, the emperor of the persian empire, was eerily sensual. a stark contrast to the rugged, manly, fearless spartan king leonidas played by Gerard Butler.

i couldn't help but go online to look for Rodrigo Santoro's other profiles:

wow. make-up does wonders! by the way, this is NOT meant to be a movie review - for spoilers, click here. but you probably know how it ends: the 300 loyal spartans die as valiant heroes. :p

so the movie 300 was hub's birthday present number 1. we walked around suntec city's carrefour supermarket for a bit as we did some grocery shopping (i promised the hub that i'd cook him a meal on monday) and just before we headed home, popped by a computer game shop where i bought his second gift of 2 PC games for him - Supreme Commander and a 3-in-1 pack special of the LOTR series: The Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle-earth, The Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle-earth II and The Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle-earth II - The Rise of the Witch-king.

well, that should keep him busy till, er, his next birthday.

our plans for dinner were dashed by the pouring rain so i had to whip up a last minute home-cooked steak. i'm no chef but i guess i managed something edible since there wasn't much complains. urm, so that's sorta the birthday pressie number 3.

oh wait, there's more...watch this space for part 2. :)

how's your brain today?

'daily' and 'variety'.

these were 2 very key words i learnt today at the Care Person Learning Forum: Engaging the Young of Today organised by the poly. the engaging, entertaining lively speaker and psychiatrist Dr Ang Yong Guan shared examples of how youths struggle with the pressures of life and their ways of coping, usually unsuccessfully which results in drastic life-taking measures. :(

i also learn that the brain becomes fully matured after 25 years, and that research proves that human beings do grow wiser with age. Dr Ang also briefly discussed the limbic system and introduced terms like 'hippocampus' and 'amygdala'. knowing how the brain functions plays a crucial role in understanding the psyche of human beings, especially the gen-y youths of today.

anyway, back to 'daily' and 'variety'.

Dr Ang revealed some secrets to long life which involves daily routines (to keep busy) coupled with variety (to keep boredom at bay). simple, really. it's no rocket science. and yes, i'll strive to keep these 2 words locked in my brain.

excuse me, are you a technosexual mouse potato?

today i'm just as bored as miss ene is.

it's one those those days when i would love to just chill alone at my haven @ arif, watching some senseless TV or flipping between cartoon network, nickelodeon, playhouse disney and MTV.

i love some time-out to do absolutely nothing.

but nooooooooooooooooo...i'm stuck at work.

while 'researching' for new updated material to include in my lesson plans, i decided to look for new-fangled vocabulary and clicked onto to the word spy site.

here're my top 20 favourites:-

1. BlackBerry thumb n. A repetitive stress injury characterized by swelling and pain at the base of the thumb and caused by prolonged use of the thumb while operating a BlackBerry or other personal digital assistant.


2. thumb culture (THUM kul.chur; th as in thin) n. People who are skilled at using their thumbs to manipulate objects such as cell phone keys, small joysticks, and notebook computer pointers.


3. bitcom n. A short, sitcom-style video available over the Internet.


4. carnography (kar.NOG.ruh.fee) n. Writings, films, images, or other materials that contain scenes of carnage or other types of violence. [Blend of carnage and pornography.] Also: carno (cf. porno).


5. cinematherapy (sin.uh.muh.THAYR.uh.pee; TH as in thin) noun. A form of therapy or self-help that uses movies, particularly videos, as therapeutic tools.


6. cot potato n. An infant or toddler who spends a great deal of time watching television.


7. mouse potato (MOWS poh.tay.toh) n. A person who spends a lot of time at the computer (cf. couch potato).


8. retrophilia (ret.troh.FEE.lee.uh) n. An intense attraction for things of the past.


9. emo (EE-moh) n. A music genre that features a heavy, guitar-based sound and melodic, emotional tunes. —emo adj.


10. generation lap n. The tendency for young people to be increasingly more technically savvy than their parents or elders.


11. leisure sickness (LEE.zhur sik.nis) n. Ill health that occurs during leisure time, especially on weekends and vacations.


12. gaydar (GAY.dar) n. An intuitive sense that enables someone to identify whether another person is gay.


13. hasbian (HAZ.bee.un) n. A former lesbian who is now in a heterosexual relationship.


14. man cave n. An area of a house, such as a basement, workshop, or garage, where a man can be alone with his power tools and projects.


15. photolurker n. A person who obsessively and anonymously browses strangers' photos posted to online photo-sharing sites.


16. toxic bachelor (TAWKS.ik bach.uh.lur) n. An unmarried man who is selfish, insensitive, and afraid of commitment.


17. retrosexual (ret.roh.SEK.shoo.ul) n. A man with an undeveloped aesthetic sense who spends as little time and money as possible on his appearance and lifestyle.


18. technosexual (tek.noh.SEK.shoo.ul) n. A male with a strong aesthetic sense and a love of technology.


19. ubersexual (oo.bur.SEK.shoo.ul) n. A heterosexual man who is masculine, confident, compassionate, and stylish


20. zipperhead (ZIP.ur.hed) n. A stupid person, or a person who has a closed mind. Also: zipper-head, zipper head.

wow. so many new words i'm not acquainted with!

so, are you a:-

• technosexual mouse potato with a Blackberry thumb?
• retrosexual who prefers to hide in your man cave?
• toxic bachelor who laps up carnography?
• zipperhead?

well, there's a whole lot more words where these terms came from. do check out word spy at http://www.wordspy.com/

Black Magic Woman

*Sigh*

It’s almost impossible to get good domestic help these days.

This morning, the MIL overheard our Indonesian foreign domestic maid (FDM) talking to her husband on a long distance call. I’d taken leave to stay home with the kids today. We were upstairs and MIL grew a little suspicious so she picked up the receiver to eavesdrop. After 3 seconds, MIL panicked and gestured wildly to me to listen in on the conversation. I wasn’t very keen as I had no intention of invading FDM’s privacy but MIL was visibly upset so I took over the receiver. I couldn’t really understand the exchange since it was in Bahasa Indonesia and then suddenly the call ended. As I hung up, MIL’s face was livid and she asked me what I’d heard. I couldn’t comment since I had no clue what was happening.

Apparently, the FDM was spelling my hub’s name to her own husband. Not once, but three times. She kept repeating it slowly. Unfortunately by the time I tried to listen in they’d moved on to discuss other matters. MIL also picked up some words like “hurry up” and “scared”. That was when realisation hit me – there was a possibility that FDM and her husband was planning to perform some black magic on my family.

The alarm bells rang furiously in my head. My first thought was to keep the girls away from FDM and send her packing quickly. It was a hush-hush operation: as MIL and I contacted the agent to inform them of our decision to cancel FDM’s work permit. We didn’t want to alert FDM and neither did we want FIL to panic. I called the hub and briefly summarised the incident. And just before noon, I spoke to FDM and told her we were sending her back to the agent but never mentioned about what we’d heard over the telephone. She didn’t seem surprised initially but as she was packing her belongings, she asked me if I was angry and apologised profusely.

*Sigh*

I don’t think she meant to cause us any harm but it was not a chance I was prepared to take. I bear her no grudge – being alone and far away from her family, she must have been desperate and homesick. The FDM’s been with us almost 6 months, and the kids get along with her. And if this incident hadn’t taken place, I would have no qualms about extending her contract if she wanted to remain in Singapore.

*Sigh*

For working mothers, it’s almost a hobson’s choice to engage domestic help. Unless I decide to give up my career and be a SAHM, I need a FDM to help take care of the kids and keep the home in a liveable condition. Besides, relying on a single income in this day and age is nothing short of financial suicide.

And so the search for another FDM continues. I need more than good luck. Perhaps some divine intervention?

*Sigh*

firestarter

wen's fever just *won't'* bloody go away!

she started burning up on friday evening and i took her to the doc's on saturday though the thermometer didn't register a fever, possibly because it had already subsided since i fed her some medicine in the morning. this kinda reminds me of an entry i wrote about 2 years back when xian was a victim of the fever.

so yes, another weekend gone to waste. had to miss haj's gathering yesterday. was looking forward to meeting my uni-mates (and their kids) again. when i left for work this morning, wen's fever was back.

*sheeesh*.

ah well. here's what's playing on my pc now - have to tone it down a little because i'm in the office.

Firestarter
By Prodigy

I’m the trouble starter, punkin’ instigator
I’m the fear addicted, danger illustrated

I’m a firestarter, twisted firestarter
You’re the firestarter, twisted firestarter
I’m a firestarter, twisted firestarter

I’m the bitch you hated, filth infatuated – yeah
I’m the pain you tasted, well intoxicated

I’m a firestarter, twisted firestarter
You’re the firestarter, twisted firestarter

I’m the self inflicted, mind detonator – yeah
I’m the one infected, twisted animator

I’m a firestarter, twisted firestarter
You’re the firestarter, twisted firestarter
I’m a firestarter, twisted firestarter

another place, another me

it's about 2.35am, a rather ungodly hour to be up but i'm sure 1/2 the folks i know are out clubbing or chilling on a saturday-sunday outing. the other 1/2 are probably tucked into bed, nicely zonked out after spending *quality* time with their bunch of rowdy, energetic kids.

me? i had the luxury of an afternoon nap, courtesy of my two girls who had to be cajoled, threatened and reasoned (in that order) before both succumbed to the mid-day z monsters. and of course i fell asleep too. it takes lots of effort and energy to um, persuade them to nap. this also means i've had my share of sleep already, which explains why i *can't* retire to bed just yet.

so it's time for some girly self-pampering. i've slapped on some Evening Primrose Firming Mask from The Body Shop and will tone/moisturise my fast-aging face properly later. it's tough to faithfully follow a proper beauty and skincare regime these days - very often i've to wait until the kids are asleep before i can indulge in these "leisure" activities. and sometimes i'm just too tired to bother. hell, i'm lucky if i'm disciplined enough to do this once a month. perhaps this why the fine lines are beginning to appear on my blotchy skin.

and of course, this has set me thinking about the "what ifs". it's a game i play quite often where i imagine the various possibilities or permutations of my life in an alternate universe. sometimes i wonder what i'd be doing on a saturday night if i weren't married and bogged down with kids. what kind of social life would i lead? would i be out partying the night away? catching a movie? enjoying dinner at a fancy-schmancy restaurant or cosy bistro? who would i be with - a bunch of girlfriends? a unisex group of friends? a date? would i even *have* a date? would i even be able to find a guy who'd take me out?

*gasp*

the stuff that nightmares are made of.

ok, have to rinse off the mask before i apply some Aloe Calming Toner then Jojoba Extra Rich Night Cream. and then the ultimate pampering: slathering on some Shea Body Butter on myself!

now the only reason why i've so many items from The Body Shop's cos i'm a Love Your Body Rewards Club member and i get discounts and great deals. the stuff's pretty neat too. plus attractive packaging always gets to me. ;P

i bid you all adieu - it's time for some me-myself-and-i-lovin.

check out my new skin

i decided to give my blogspot a spanking new look.

naturally, i whopped with joy when i chanced upon this LOTR influenced skin - "the hobbit". the picture shows gandalf entering bilbo's hobbit hole, "the bag end" (which frodo inherited eventually).

my observant viewers would have noticed that i've changed my blog title and some of the headings as well. being a techno-dunce, i wasn't able to get the new template to work properly and even though i'm *supposed* to be able to make amendments to the fonts, text size and colours, it was impossible to do so through the blogger template. and i know next to nothing about HTML codes, so instead of shrinking the text to fit the space, i adopted the old-fashion caveman way: i edited the text altogether.

maybe i should go read up on some HTML / XML / CSS language though i probably wouldn't understand a single thing. if anyone can help enlighten me on this IT stuff, i'd be ever so grateful.

creative boost required

the hub's 34th birthday's coming up next week. and i haven't got a clue on what to get him.

have been celebrating his birthday for 12 years and i'm fresh out of ideas.

suggestions, anyone? nothing too expensive, please. i'm still recovering from the post-reno / post-CNY credit-less blues.

*sigh*

2 very important emails

i received two important emails today. the first at 3.33pm, the second at 4.30pm. (unfortunately i didn't have a chance to read its contents till late as i was conducting a training.)

but i must say that both emails brought to me a million smiles:-

Hi eowYCn,

Happy to report that your 2nd THEC assignment has passed! My feedback is attached to this message.

That's the final piece of work for THEC, so I'll be sending you a formal, congratulatory email shortly.

Thanks & regards,

Peter

whoooooooooppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

i cleared my 2nd assignment! then my trembling fingers worked the mouse to open the word document attachment to read the comments...

Overall standard of tasks:

- accomplished
- proficient
- developing (please resubmit)

yeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!

i managed to score a second "accomplished" grade, although it was a 7-6 score in favour of "accomplished". it was well worth the back-breaking hours slaving over the computer with numerous trips to the library.

the second email was equally delightful:-

Dear eowYCn's full name,

Having successfully completed your two THEC assignments and met all other THEC requirements, I am pleased to inform you that you have officially completed the THEC programme.

You will be invited, in due course, to attend the THEC graduation ceremony which will be held in September. Details will be forwarded to you nearer the date of the graduation.

Congratulations!!

Regards,
Peter Andrews

ah yes, the official email which signals the end of my agony.

i am a contented, satisfied person. at least for today.

scissor sisters

ok, i salvaged a redeeming moment from my ruined weekend:


the humid weather's not too appropriate for little girls to keep their hair long. so it was off to the hairdresser's on a saturday morning to trim some tresses! xian's cut cost me S$12 and i even had to pay S$3 for wen's trimmed fringe! the last time my dad or mil tried to play hairdresser, the results were disastrous! so i would rather willingly pay someone else to cut their hair. for some strange reason or other, they were extremely well-behaved and sat almost perfectly still.

i'm sure glad i had my n73 camera phone ready to snap the sisters at the hair salon. especially that trademark pout from wen. priceless.

filial piety knows no bounds

perhaps i haven't been a good girl because i didn't get my wish fulfilled on saturday :(

ah well...i knew my good fortune would run out sooner or later.

i admit, i was rather upset. but these days, instead of excessive grumbling, wallowing in self-pity and allowing the bitterness to consume me, i turn to mother green tara for guidance and pray for patience. (ever since i've moved in to my haven @ arif i've been more religious than i've ever been in my life.) suffice to say and i always feel better, more at ease with myself after i've confided in her.

not very much like the ol' raging mumsy, eh?

this weekend, as my internal demons wrecked havoc in my mind, i chanced upon the Filial Piety Sutra (Sutra on the Deep Kindness of Parents and the Difficulty of Repaying It), a summary of which i've included below:

1. The first is the kindness of providing protection and care while the child is in the womb.
2. The second is the kindness of bearing suffering during the birth.
3. The third is the kindness of forgetting all the pain once the child has been born.
4. The fourth is the kindness of eating the bitter herself and saving the sweet for the child.
5. The fifth is the kindness of moving the child to a dry place and lying in the wet herself.
6. The sixth is the kindness of suckling the child at her breast, nourishing and bringing up the child.
7. The seventh is the kindness of washing away the unclean.
8. The eight is the kindness of always thinking of the child when it has traveled far.
9. The ninth is the kindness of deep care and devotion.
10. The tenth is the kindness of ultimate pity and sympathy.
    

according to http://www.dictionary.com/, 'filial piety' is defined as "in Confucian thought, one of the virtues to be cultivated, a love and respect for one's parents and ancestors."

all i can say is that filial piety knows no bounds. as a mother myself, i do understand the underlying message. so it doesn't matter if one has the misfortune of belonging to evilest, most vile set of parents in the whole wide world. tough luck, my friend. we are in no position to judge the actions of those who (pro)created us, no matter what happens. also, the teachings may seem very extreme and exaggerated. and frankly, feminists who read this may condemn it as utter gibberish.

but i do comprehend the sutra, somewhat reluctantly, as this means i have to cultivate patience - a virtue that has eluded me these years - to help me get me through life as i know it.

why?

because i believe in karma - what goes around, comes around. and if my children do turn out to be ungrateful beasts, i only have myself to blame for not being a good role model. there's no doubt about it.

parenthood is tough.

yay, saturday!

it's saturday!

i've always loved saturdays even when i used to have to work. the saturday air somehow always smells fresher. perhaps it's a psychological thing. (will ask timster to give me his views on this topic).

so i googled "saturday" and found out some interesting historical facts, the most hilarious being:

In Scandinavian countries, Saturday is called Lördag or Löverdag etc., the name being derived from the old word laugr (hence Icelandic name Laugardagur), meaning bath, thus Lördag equates to bath-day. This is due to the Viking usage of bathing on Saturdays.
(source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturday)

eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...i can't imagine the pong before the vikings take their much-needed scrub.

what i would *really* love to do on a saturday is to have the whole day with the hub and kids exclusively. no meddling from "well-meaning" relations who very often want to have a say in how we bring up the kids. i can only keep my fingers crossed whenever the weekend is near that i can spend quality time with my family of 4 with no interruptions. it's on my wish list, though totally beyond my control unless i wage an outright war.

anyway. let's see if my wonderful saturday will be ruined. it's happened so often i'm *almost* immuned to the situation.

i'll leave you with a bon jovi classic, Someday I'll Be a Saturday Night:

the hub

i love the hub.

before anyone reaches for the barf bag, let me qualify: it's not the mushy-gushy tweeny emotions that are peppered all over blogs in bold, sometimes even raunchy declarations of love.

still, this is an uncharacteristic moment for me to openly publish this. i'm doing this to remind myself that whenever the heat rises i must think positive thoughts. it just occurred to me that despite all the grieving, ranting and raving over the far-from-perfect relations with my legally-related family, the hub has stood by me time and again.

i know it's not easy for him, always being sandwiched between piety and insanity. it's a crappy game of Spin the Wheel of Loyalty when you are both rewarded and cursed simultaneously, and whatever you do is WRONG. either way, you can never, EVER win.

throw in my careless frivolity over financial matters and sloppy administrative house-keeping skills and it's no surprise why the hub gets as grumpy/angry as he does. he managed to solve another of my blunders again today, and he must be tired of picking up after my trail. he must have summoned all his will power to keep himself cool, calm and collected by my stupidity. even i am aghast by my own actions and no, i shall even attempt to describe what transcended because it's just too foolish. it's got something to do with my mobile phone usage :(

i really haven't given him the due credit he deserves. erase the fact that i am emotionally starved at times. the hub slaves to provide adequate food and shelter, and other creature comforts for our family of 4. at the end of the day, my fundamental human needs (as defined by Abraham Maslow) are met and i really should not be complaining.

after all, i married the man. and should accept him for what he is. just like he's accepted me and is clearly resigned to his fate, the poor, poor dear.

spring cleaning

my work space looks like a wreck.

hurricane eowycn swept through my desk, leaving piles of paper, stationery, reports in a massive heap.

it's always like this at the end of the term. after a marking frenzy and the urgency to complete all the paperwork required. plus i had my 2nd THEC assignment to complete.

so yes, my desk is in a mess.

time to CLEAN UP the place.

Into the West

Another excellent, dreamy tune from my favourite brit diva annie lennox taken off the LOTR: ROTK (Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King) soundtrack.

Into the West
by Annie Lennox

Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You have come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across a distant shore

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
All Souls pass

Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time

Don't say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again
And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the West

tremors!

miss ene and i were having lunch across the campus with when an sms came through for her.

an earthquake had struck an island in Sumatra, Indonesia and some tremors shook Singapore. buildings were evacuated, some taller structures even "swayed slightly".

oooooooooooooooooooo. how exciting.

i just called the hub whose office is in chinatown (and relatively close to shenton way) and asked if his building was affected.

me: "eh do you know there was an earthquake earlier in Indonesia?"
hub: "got meh? when?"
me: "noon time. some people felt tremors in shenton way. did your office shake?"
hub: "no lei. didn't feel anything."

hmmm. apparently only some areas were affected. maybe i was all the way in the east, too far to feel anything though according to miss ene, her colleagues said the partitions shook.

ah well. it would have been quite an experience if we had been evacuated.

Are You a Right-Brain Thinker?

yes, i am a right-brain thinker...

i've known this for quite some time now - since 1997 when i was doing my masters in mass communication course. i can't remember exactly which module it was (probably advertising) but our lecturer handed out a set of questions for us to attempt. those with scores between 1-4 were ranked as left brainers, those who managed 5 were 'normal' (that is, they use both their left and right brain equally), 6-10 were right brainers. i remember i scored a 6.9, the ONLY one in the class to hit above 6. the majority had scores in the range of 4.5 to 5.9, which is supposedly normal.

man, i felt soooooooooo awkward. my classmates turned to stare at me like i belonged to some weird species skulking at the back of the classroom.

yes, so i am a right-brainer. and this also explains a lot about me, the way i study/work/solve problems. here's some simplified research on the left vs right brain:

"Most individuals have a distinct preference for one of these styles of thinking. Some, however, are more whole-brained and equally adept at both modes. In general, schools tend to favor left-brain modes of thinking, while downplaying the right-brain ones. (italics, my own). Left-brain scholastic subjects focus on logical thinking, analysis, and accuracy. Right-brained subjects, on the other hand, focus on aesthetics, feeling, and creativity."

in a way, i am relieved to discover that there's a logical explanation to my kookiness. hub's clearly a left-brainer which is why we are clearly polar opposites, like chalk and cheese. no matter. in the end, all roads lead to rome. whether we take the left or right path.

baby, you're a real surprise!

how can anyone be pregnant and *not* know about it?

was watching the news last night and i couldn't believe my eyes/ears when this story flashed across the small screen.

i was flabbergasted and appalled.

how can anyone be pregnant and *not* know about it?

i distinctively recall that when i became pregnant (twice), my whole internal system crashed. and this was even BEFORE i took the home pregnancy test kit and BEFORE the docs confirmed that i was carrying a baby. and when i got pregnant with wen, i was instinctively aware that i was going to be a mother again.

how can anyone be pregnant and *not* know about it?

ok, so the woman claims she's overweight and hence the baby was well and truly hidden. that's the physical aspect of pregnancy. what about the emotional upheavals? nausea? mood swings? either she's really fortunate and lucky not to experience these pregnancy-related issues...or she's abnormal!!

a baby doesn't just grow in a month! hers was a full term pregnancy. that's 40 weeks! 9 months!
sorry. i just can't accept the fact that she was oblivious to her, um, condition.

how can anyone be pregnant and *not* know about it?

extremely lost in translation

last year i sent in my application to join my secondary school alumnae association. i'd meant to do so for years but kept putting it off owing to my hectic work schedule. then i realised that xian's growing up fast and i'd have to register her for primary school by 2008 and as an alumni member, my chances of getting her into the school would be much easier. so i filled in the form, enclosed a $300 cheque for the lifetime membership and sent it off.

coincidentally i bumped into dor during the new year. i'd lost contact with her after my wedding and it was good to see her at thomson plaza, which was a popular secondary school haunt since it's not too far from our school and home. we were on the prefectorial board together - she was our vice-head prefect and i was an exco member.

dor sent me an email and sms 3 weeks back and asked if i wanted to attend the alumni AGM with her. our ex-vp had invited her and she decided to pull me along for company's sake. i hadn't been back since 1993 when we were both there for a 6 month relief teaching stint before entering the university.

so yesterday afternoon i attended my first ever school alumni AGM...and suddenly i remembered how i struggled to cope in school during my formative years. i was late as the kids were fussing and i couldn't leave until sum stepped in to distract them while i hurried out. the AGM had already started when i stepped in the old language lab room (now converted to "the living room" for the alumni members).

and then it hit me. the AGM was conducted in mandarin.

*ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*

did i ever mention i'm effectively monolingual???? i can't speak proper chinese to save my skin! although i cleared my chinese papers in my 'O' and 'A' level exams, i had to sit for the exams twice for each level because i failed them the first time each. and i failed the oral exam component in my 'A' level exams because i couldn't read 95% of reading passage!

i had conveniently forgotten that my secondary school is a predominantly chinese-ed, SAP school although 99.9% of my peers are bilingual, with both english and chinese as their 1st language. (of course i took chinese as a 2nd language). chinese was the main medium for communication and the school song, morning prayers, and assembly periods were delivered in mandarin. honestly don't know how on earth i survived such an environment with my lousy chinese...but i somehow pulled through.

here's the school song, in chinese of course:

钟声悠扬絃歌讽诵
圣铎化雨泽被春风
发扬华夏优良传统
提倡女教美德坤成
发扬, 发扬华夏优良传统
提倡女教美德坤成

徳纯义坚校训是宗
学贯中西文化交融
尼各拉光芒万丈
吾国文化绵延无穷
尼各拉, 圣尼各拉光芒万丈
吾国文化绵延无穷

heh. i can only recognise the words 圣尼各拉 (st. nicholas)...and i can't translate the words. only know it's full of positive vibes.

anyway, i had no clue what was going on at first in the meeting since i was: 1) late 2) lost in translation. dor was sitting in front of me and she turned her head a few times and giggled when i shrugged my shoulders and gave blank stares. she whispered that she'd a bit of a culture shock as well and needed a couple of minutes to adjust to the sudden switch in language - by the way, dor's a literature and GP teacher at National Junior College (NJC) but she's definitely more fluent in chinese than i am, any day.

somehow i managed to piece together bits of information and with my limited vocabulary, vaguely understood what the main issues were. later during the self-introduction, i hesitated in my halting chinese but dor kept nodding as a form of encouragement. it *really* was back to school where i was handicapped by my language disabilities - but as i looked around, realised that there were also a few others like me who obviously preferred to use english as our lingua franca.

and sitting behind me was my old neighbour, karen. her parents lived 2 doors away from my folks. she too has 2 daughters and i'm willing to bet my last dollar that she's in the alumni for the same reason why i'm weathering this chinese verbal hail storm. but i think this would be good for xian - she's equally monolingual since i seldom communicate to her in chinese. immersing her in an all-chinese environment might help improve her language.

it's a pity i didn't have the time to roam around the campus to take shots of the buildings as i had to rush home to the girls. but i'm quite sure i'll be back soon for some sub-committee meeting or other. better brush up on my chinese now. :P

what's valentine's day?

i *know* valentine's day's over - i may be old but not *that* old.

was transferring pix from my N73 mobile phone to the notebook when i chanced upon this:

some "gifts" from the students who (bless their souls) remember that their tutor was unlikely to have special plans for the day.

one of them made me a plastic heart out of green and yellow straws, another had baked some cornflake cookies no doubt for the chinese new year, and the 3 kids from my previous semester's tutorial class (coincidentally from miss ene's care group) presented me with a chocolate chip cookie, painstakingly wrapped up in red crepe paper with a card. actually i had bumped into the last group at the canteen when i was having a late afternoon lunch. maybe they hadn't planned to give me one but since i'd already seen them and they had explained to me what they were doing they felt awkward not giving me a cookie...

oh well. never mind. the cookie's been digested.

a few of the students had already indicated their intention to skip school and even told me about their plans:

kids: "cher, we not coming to school on wednesday. tell you first hor."
me: "why?
kids: "because it's valentine's day! i'm going out to celebrate!"
me: "but i’m giving back the test. i want you to look through the paper. what if i didn’t add the marks properly?"
kids: "it’s ok la. we trust you."

celebrating valentine's day was obviously more important than their results. a few of the kids did ask if i was going out with the hub:

kids: "cher, got plans for tonight or not?"
me: "of course NOT. i'm already married!"
kids: "but married still can go out what!" (crestfallen look on their faces when they realise that marriage changes MANY things)
me: "yes but i've got young children. it's very troublesome to bring them out."
kids: "then go out with your husband alone la!?"
me: "then who's going to look after the kids?"
kids: "put at home lor! you buy anything for your husband or not?"
me: "no. we don't celebrate. used to, but not now."
kids: "WHY? HOW CAN YOU NOT CELEBRATE VALENTINE'S DAY??!?!!!???"

*sigh*

at that point i realised i was perceived as an old fuddy-duddy. really, we don't celebrate the event because the novelty has worn off. the hub and i have known each other for 13 years, dated for 4 years, been married 8. there's no point rushing to restaurants for meals because they'd be too crowded. i'm not a 'flower person' and the hub thinks it's madness to pay for overpriced bouquets especially since i don't appreciate them. it's just another commercial event aimed at ripping consumers off.

but in the end we did have a special dinner. hub dropped by at chomp chomp and bought our favourite celebratory seafood - sambal stingray, clams and cockles - at our haven @ arif. he spotted couples at chomp chomp having their dinner and described how the ladies with immaculately painted faces in formal dresses were obviously in a foul mood because they had to spend their valentine's dinner at a crowded, noisy, smelly, humid hawker centre, with their melting make-up and sheepish dates.

we didn't open a bottle of wine, but we each had a can of chilled coke from the fridge. it was a relaxing one-hour dinner without the kids, in the comfort of our own home.

and honestly, that's good enough for me.

May It Be

all lotr fans will definitely remember this soothingly haunting melody by Enya - it was featured in LOTR: FOTR (that's The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings for the uninitiated).

May It Be
by Enya

May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home

Mornie utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadows call
Will fly away
May it be you journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun

Mornie utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

A promise lives within you now

ready to fly

exam invigilations are such a bore. the registrar's office should distribute toothpicks to all invigilators, to pry our eyes open in the probable event that we nod off while trying to catch students cheating in the exams.

and i was told that *gulp* no sms-ing was allowed...not that it deterred me any less, especially when i had trouble keeping awake midway through the afternoon paper.

but i'm glad my invigilation duties for this term are OVER!

plus my marking's TOTALLY complete. just need to re-look at some scripts as the moderator felt i was too strict in some sections. that's a joke of course. i'm already quite a lenient marker. at least i THINK i am.

anyway, slowly but surely, i can feel the feathers on my wings peaking out just a teeny tiny bit.

just a couple more days before i'm free...till the next term starts.