D is for...

on wednesday night i went over to hub's office after work to meet him for dinner. (the girls were at my parents' home and the ILs went out.)

the moment i entered the front door, i was greeted by a few of his colleagues who had somewhat sheepish grins on their faces. they were all standing around near the entrance, apparently having a discussion. when i appeared, they stepped away, revealing the hub seated on the couch...

he had a forced smile on his face.

uh-oh. i recognise that look. it was the harbinger of bad news.

after a few theatrics and nervous splutters, the truth was revealed: something urgent and important cropped up, meetings couldn't be rearranged, so the bintan trip had to be cancelled.

...

what could i say?

i was disappointed beyond words.

devastated and speechless.

i was really looking forward to a short break (away from this country) with the kids. we were planning to celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary there too. i tried my darnest to put on a brave show in front of his colleagues who were anxious that he'd bear the brunt of my fury. (perhaps they were expecting me to throw a hissy-fit?) but after they walked off, i plonked myself next to hub on the couch - my voice cracked and a few tears trickled.

*sigh*

in all honesty, i wasn't angry with anyone. it's not hub's fault and his colleagues have been trying their best (their harried, worried smiles attest to this) to re-arrange the presentations and meetings but the clients' schedules weren't able to accommodate any other dates. and it would be career suicide for the hub NOT to be present at those meetings - unless he's looking for a premature retirement and i become the sole bread-winner of the family. a terrifying option since i don't rake in millions with my teaching job and my pay isn't going to sufficiently cover the home and car loans and hefty monthly expenditures.

*sigh*

the hub knew i'd be upset, so he treated me to a korean dinner - it was a sweet gesture as he was obviously trying to make it up to me. i told him there was really no need to explain the situation. i *do* understand why such sacrifices have to be made (since i'm also a workaholic and my work ethics are similar to the hub's). frankly, i'd have done the same thing if i were in his shoes.

*sigh*

the only consolation is that we may still be building sandcastles overseas - in sentosa, that is - so no passports required. tentative plan: the girls and i can check-in first while the hub and the rest of his colleagues can join us after their mega major meeting is done.

*sigh*

well, sentosa's better than nothing i suppose. but this time round i'm not getting my hopes up high just in case a new wave of disappointment comes crashing down on me again.

*sigh*