Wednesday, June 27, 2007

being 33

it's been a week since i turned 33.

and i'm beginning to notice some subtle, yet visible, changes to my physical, emotional and psychological being.

for starters, father-time has beckoned and the early signs of ageing have left their imprint. the fine lines around my panda eyes are deeper, especially when i smile/laugh. my eye bags weigh 3kg each. and my skin has become rather dry and there's evidence of alterations in my pigmentation - tiny brown spots have sprouted on my arms.

my knees have started to creak. a few weeks ago, while i was in the middle of a reverse triangle pose at my weekly yoga class, my knee joints started to ache. i'd never experienced that pain before and when the MIL overheard me describing my discomfort to my mum, she triumphantly remarked that it was rheumatism.

according to MIL i'm suffering because of my "reckless" actions - i now realise the consequences of bathing and washing my hair late at night, and sleeping when my hair is in a semi-dry state. of course, i don't know if there's any scientific evidence to suggest that there is a co-relation between my nightly bath rituals and the aches in my knees, but according to old wives' tales, there is truth in the matter. :P

i've been blessed with 2 beautiful daughters, even though i grumble about them all the time. strangely, my biological clock is ticking faster. at 33, my chances of conceiving (should i decide to have more kids) aren't that fantastic.

of course i know of many women who have successfully gotten pregnant and delivered normal, healthy babies in their mid to late 30s. still, if i really want to have another child, i can't push it off too long.

the obvious truth is that i AM growing older. naturally, one of my greatest fears is that i would become totally unattractive to the person who matters most - there are TOO many pretty young things out there to distract even the most faithful of spouses. :(

but i haven't reached the stage of desperation where i'll seek out the fountain of youth. also, i shudder at the thought of injecting foreign substances (botox) into my skin to keep it tight and taut, and remove my crow's feet around my eyes. i'm not obsessed with looking "forever young" and i'd really like to grow old gracefully.

i started practising yoga 1 year ago and i believe i've increasing grown more patient and tolerant - perhaps i've "mellowed" with age - and i'm quite sure that my weekly yoga sessions played a huge role in realigning my physical, emotional and even spiritual well-being. i only discovered recently that the soothing music used in the yoga practices were taken off the album "embrace" by deva premal and miten, and one of the tracks which i hum to is "Om Tare Tuttare", Mother Green Tara's mantra Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha.

oh, by the way, i'm looking out for the "embrace" album. so if anyone happens to spot it in the local stores (hmv, sembawang music centre, borders, gramophone), probably in the new age section, please do let me know. the album cover looks like this:

but despite the slight physical discomforts that i'm starting to experience, i've never felt more self-assured and confident of my actions.

ironic, isn't it?

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