Under Pressure

I've sold out. 

For years I've been resisting the pressure to send my kids for enrichment programmes because I wanted the girls to be stress-free and enjoy their childhood. To me, developing good social skills is equally, if not more important, than possessing intellectual superiority. 

However, now that Xian is in primary one, I realised that I should have paid more attention to getting her prepared to face the academic challenges of the Singapore education system. My firstborn is struggling to keep pace with school work and at the rate she's going, I'm concerned she won't make the cut.

It's not that she slow or weak. It's just that everyone around her seems to be performing much better! I don't remember having to make oral presentations to my teacher or classmates when I was 7 years old, in both English and Chinese language. I don't recall having to solve complicated mathematical problems using the heuristic method. And at 7, her Chinese vocabulary equals that of mine when I was 11!

Frankly, I don't need Xian to top her class! But I think 3/4 of her classmates do attend extra enrichment classes and lessons, and I'm beginning to understand why so many parents sign their kids up for them. It's not even to give them an edge over their peers - it's to help them keep up! And to my horror and realisation, many of the school teachers assume that the children already go for these extra classes, and that the "basics" are covered so they don't have to start building the foundation from scratch.

During Xian's "Meet the Parents" session in May, I spoke to both her form teacher (who also teaches her English, Mathematics and Art & Craft) and her Chinese teacher. They shared that Xian has the potential to do much better in work and stress that while Xian learns quickly, she forgets even more quickly! Plus, she seems to lack confidence in her abilities and gives up easily when she's faced with difficult problems.

Sigh. It's tough being a kid these days!

During the June holidays, I brought Xian to my office a few times when I was also on term break. She'd sit next to me and do some homework while I did my marking and own office work. I used the opportunity to bond and spend some time with her, and helped her out with her work.

And 2 weeks ago, I poured out my concerns to a colleague and she shared her own experiences about her 2 boys. Her kids also attend extra classes and they've improved on their school work. My immediate concern for Xian is English. Although Xian speaks fluently, she's weak in reading and writing. For English classes, my colleague recommended Jan & Elly which has a branch at Serangoon Gardens, not too far from home.

So I surfed the web and called up the school to enquire about the programmes, course fees, class schedules and teachers. The next day, I brought the girls down to view the centre and I decided, there and then, to enrol Xian for Creative Writing & Grammar classes and Wen for Phonics classes.

Wen too? Yes, I didn't want to make the same mistake twice and decided to start Wen off early so that she'd receive a firm foundation. And hopefully, she'll have an easier time assimilating into the primary school education system in a few years.

Yup, I caved in to pressure. And I'm ashamed because I'd always thought that I would be able to avoid sending my children to these extra enrichment classes. And it's ironic that as an English Language and Literature graduate, I've resorted to getting external help to polish up my children's language skills.

Such a sad and disturbing fact.

No surprises then that the following song sums up my emotions.