11 years and counting

I was taking stock of the story books in our home library when I realised that I hardly ever read traditional fairy tales to the kids.

In fact, I don't have anything from the Brothers Grimm or Hans Christian Andersen - books which I grew up with. While I enjoyed reading these stories, I was conscious of the fact that many of them end quite tragically and it can be tough explaining to young kids the concept of death, betrayal and suffering.

On the flip side, some of these fairy tales end on an unrealistic sugary high note - especially the ones where the beautiful princesses and handsome princes always end up together in matrimonial bliss. Or so it appears. And I don't really want the kids' heads to be filled with fluffly, cotton-candied notions that physical attractiveness takes precedence over all else. Life is a indeed a bed of roses because thorns do prick.

Here's a typical Fairy Tale Romance plot: Handsome Prince meets Beautiful Princess. They fall in love, encounter some adversity or objection to their pursuit of happiness in the form of wicked step-parents, ugly monsters, evil witches (substitute the crisis with anything horrible), get married and live happily ever after.

Perfect? Well, on the surface it does seem like the ideal life. And there's a valid reason why the story tellers end their tales at the highest point of "happiness".

After all, nobody really wants to spill the beans about what happens AFTER marriage: in-law issues, shared household responsibilities, money problems, pregnancy, childbirth, post-natal blues, parenthood, mid-life crisis, work stress, job security, mortgage payments, debts etc.

Can you honestly believe that these pretty princesses will be spared pregnancy woes, retain their hour-glass figures and avoid developing ugly stretch marks after child birth? Wouldn't the handsome young princes consume too many barrels of ale, worry about possible invasions from neighbouring kingdoms or pitch-forked peasant revolts and democracy advocates who're fed-up with hereditary monarchy?

If such truths were revealed, who in their right minds would want to get themselves tangled up in a web of emotional, mental of physical torture by entering a legally-binding contract of matrimonial "bliss"?

And in this modern day and age, many marriages appear as solid as sandcastles built along coastal beaches. Needless to say, the foundations cannot withstand the crashing waves that wash headlong into the shores and it's no surprise that many of them end up in ruins.

It's a devastating state to be in and I can't imagine how traumatic it can be for the individuals, children (if any) and families involved. And I pray that I will never be in a such a heart-breaking situation.

Tomorrow is an important day - at least for me. It marks 11 years of legal commitment to the one whom I'd pledged to spent the rest of my life with.

It's not been an easy ride. As with many marriages, we've had our share of differences, squabbles, arguments and cold-wars.

I'm thankful that so far, I've been blessed with a wonderful husband who's accepted ALL my flaws and loves me for who I am. For that, I'm extremely grateful because I know that much as I try to be the ideal wife and mum, there are moments when I severely fall short of expectations. Yet, the hub is always unwavering in his support and love.

This year, as with previous years, our wedding anniversary promises to be a low-key celebration.

My usual Tuesdays are packed with back-to-back lessons and my classes end at 6pm so I'm not able to take any time off from work. What's more, I'll have to pick the girls up from their English classes at 8pm as my parents won't be available to help out tomorrow evening.

So it's probably going to be a rushed dinner, perhaps at Serangoon Gardens Chomp Chomp - BBQ stingray, cockles and fried sambal kang kong. Just a simple fare. But honestly, that's sufficient. It's the company that counts. Always has been, always will be.