To all of you who've been disappointed by the lack of activity on this site, I'm terribly sorry for allowing my blog to wither and rot. There's really no reasonably valid excuse except that events in my life have reached a stage where I'm forced to choose my priorities. Something's gotta give and unfortunately, I've to sacrifice my own enjoyment for a greater cause: that of being a (hopefully) better mum.
Hence my "Mayday" cry for help. Really, I believe I'm in the running for Singapore's Worst Mum award for not being able to provide proper support and guidance to my firstborn. :(
As I'd mentioned in my last posting, Xian's been having some difficulties coping with school work since the start of this year. After chatting with a few people, I began to suspect that she could have some learning disabilities but it wasn't until I attended the Educators Summit 2010 (a conference sponsored by my school) in March that triggered my efforts in searching for answers.
During the session, I was intrigued by MindChamps Group CEO David Chiem's presentation on creativity and ways to encourage a champion mindset. During the lunch break, I chanced upon a booth promoting MindChamps programmes and books, and I eventually bought 3 books which David Chiem co-authored: Deeper Than The Ocean – How the Learning Brain is formed, The Art of Communicating with Your Child and The 3-Mind Revolution.On the Hub's birthday, I accompanied him to his current fishing haunt, Fishing Paradise and while he tinkered with his birthday present (a Shimano Conquest reel), I took the opportunity to catch up on some reading. In that afternoon, I completed Deeper Than The Ocean and realisation dawned on me that Xian could be dyslexic.
Suddenly, everything made sense. It explained why Xian often makes mistakes when she copies off the board, why she can get a perfect score for weekly Spelling and Dictation exercises but have extreme difficulty writing simple sentences without making spelling and grammatical errors, and why she doesn't seem to understand what she's reading or dislikes to read aloud. Plus the vague comments like "She can do better" from her teachers don't help either.
Frankly, I was getting frustrated and upset with remarks about how Xian's lazy and slow, and insinuations and accusations tossed in my direction about how little I care for her work and how I don't spend enough time checking on her progress.
And, of course, it's definitely my fault for not inculcating positive studying habits in her. After all, I'm the mother and when push comes to shove, the mother *always* bears the brunt of the burdens.
A few friends shared their personal experiences about their own children and I decided to send Xian for an assessment with the Dyslexia Association of Singapore to determine if she really is dyslexic. So I downloaded the forms from the website, filled them in, attached samples of her work, enlisted the help from Xian's P1 & P2 English teacher to comment on Xian's academic performance and nature in school and sent the documents off in early April.
Then 3 weeks ago, I received a call from DAS to arrange for an assessment appointment: a 3-hour session for Xian with the psychologist and a follow-up just for parents. Fortunately, I don't have classes scheduled on Thursdays so I applied for annual leave on those days for the assessment and follow-up appointment.
I had to take Xian off school on the day of her assessment since the timing's fixed at 9.30am. The hub sent us there in the morning - the centre was situated at Jurong Point, all the way on the other side of Singapore - as I refused to drive to an unfamiliar area. Besides, I didn't want to incur hefty parking charges as I wasn't sure how long we'd be there.
Honestly, I was apprehensive about the situation. My parents were supportive of my decision to send Xian for an assessment at DAS but not everyone approved and dismissed this as a waste of time and money (I had to put aside about S$500 for the assessment).
But steeled myself and rationalised that this was all for the sake of Xian's future. If she's really diagnosed as dyslexic, then at least I can decide what possible steps to take to help her overcome her learning disabilities and move on. If she isn't, then I'd have to try and figure out what to do next.
I was also mindful not to tell Xian too much as I didn't want her to think there was anything wrong with her, but explained that the session was to identify ways to improve on her school work.
When we reached the centre, I was heartened to find a cosy set-up behind the glass doors. The receptionists were all smiles and whatever initial apprehension I had all but melted away. The child psychologist Roshni, a young, gentle and soft-spoken lady, chatted with me briefly in one of the rooms while Xian was taken away to play a computer game while waiting. Roshni wanted to find out a little bit about Xian before the assessment so I shared with her my observations and highlighted some of Xian's strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes.
During the 20 minute informal discussion, I got a little teary, especially when I recounted Xian's struggles with school work and how I constantly lost my temper on her. Admittedly, I felt rather silly for letting down my guard in front of a complete stranger. But the emotional outburst was therapeutic as I'd been bottled up for too long and a sense of calm pervaded.
While waiting for Xian, I explored Jurong Point and was surprised with size of the mall and its variety of retail mix. Anyway, I managed to do some shopping during my 3-and-a-half hour walk before picking Xian up. We grabbed lunch at a Japanese ramen outlet before travelling back home by MRT (which took us nearly an hour).
Last week, the hub and I went back to DAS for the follow-up appointment with Roshni, the Child Psychologist who'd assessed Xian. Truth be told, I was jittery as I wasn't sure what to expect and worried if I could accept whatever diagnosis she presented. If the hub was uneasy, it wasn't obvious from his usual calm, collected exterior.
Roshni showed us a chart that highlighted Xian's areas of strengths and weakness. Apparently, Xian scored above average in several components, including non-verbal cognitive and memory tests but displayed low scores for other areas which indicates that she exhibits some characteristics of dyslexia.
Roshni further explained that she's unable to give a complete diagnose and final conclusive report as Xian is still young. However, she recommended that we send Xian for the Orton-Gillingham Course conducted by DAS which will benefit Xian in the long run.
Right now, my decision to move forth rests squarely on the written report which I'm expecting to arrive in the mail within the next 4 weeks. I'll probably need to alert the Xian's school and teachers on her condition and perhaps discuss further with the hub on our next step.
I've temporarily suspended Xian's piano lessons (which she seems to be struggling with) but signed her up for a Speech & Drama course with Julia Gabriel in a bid to instill more confidence in her. Xian appears to be enjoying the weekly Saturday classes, and I've no regrets so far.
At this point, I'm desperately scrambling to get my act together and racking my brains on how I can provide Xian with a more conducive environment which may assist in overcoming her learning disabilities. Thoughts of quiting work full-time to be a SAHM did surface, but after much consideration, I believe it's still best (for me and Xian) that I continue my teaching job.
So the waiting game begins...
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