Have I been lazy? Yes. Absolutely. And these days, with Twitter, Instagram and Facebook so easily available, providing status updates, airing grievances and spewing random rantings have never been more convenient.
But I do miss constructing my thoughts and structuring them into the written form.
Here's an update of my life so far: The two older girls are in primary school and bombarded daily with tonnes of homework. Like most working mothers, I *try* to help them with their work even though I regrettably admit I am not disciplined enough to supervise them closely. Honestly, after a full day at the office, how many working mums have the energy to be all smiles and perky? More often than not, I lose my cool far too easily when careless mistakes are committed. I hate it when I morph into an unreasonable and impatient being, my crescendo shrills reverberating around the house.
It's a dreaded routine: the minute I'm back home, I ask them if they've completed their homework and if they haven't, they'll have to sit down next to me to finish up while I'm having dinner.
Xian's now in Primary Six and she's a little more disciplined than before, so she usually gets her homework done before I'm home. Only trouble is that she's unwilling to do any extra revision on her own as she believes finishing her school work is sufficient. This is a crucial year for her and at the rate she's progressing, it's going to take a miracle for her to pass reasonably well to get back to St. Nicholas. And I'm not even talking about getting 4As or distinctions since she's unlikely to even sniff a single A and passing is a problem.
Wen's moved on to Primary Three and she's still got the cool-as-cucumber, nonchalant attitude towards school. She's unfazed by terrible grades and won't bat an eyelid even if she fares badly on tests. She'll just shrug her shoulders and give me that "I've done what I could. What else do you want from me?" look. It's absolutely frustrating because she's capable of doing WAY better but she chooses to put in minimal effort and switches on the cruise control mode. Needless to say, her grades aren't reflective of her potential academic ability - and this is precisely what gets my goat.
Wei's in her last year of pre-school and she's the only one who doesn't require constant nagging to do her homework. She's naturally competitive and when she sees her sisters being chided for not completing school work, she's quick to "disassociate" herself by providing "evidence" of work done. While the other two baulk at the thought of doing extra work, Wei would volunteer to complete the assessment books and even asks me to buy more when she's done. Unfortunately, she is still unable to read despite going for phonics classes. I'm hoping she's not dyslexic like Xian who only managed to read independently after attending classes at the Dyslexia Association of Singapore (DAS).
And then there's Number 4.
Yes, that's right. There's another one who's yet to make her appearance.
Neither Bonus nor Lost survived the first trimester and that experience completely broke my heart in 2012. It took me several months to pick myself up and move on, even though the pain never really subsided. Naturally, when I conceived last year, I was worried about losing this one too. So I decided not to jinx my pregnancy and kept mum about it. Even my relatives were unaware I was pregnant until last week when I visited them during Chinese New Year. And when they saw me waddling in - huge bloated belly and all - their spontaneous reaction was priceless.
The first question on their lips?
"Boy or girl?" (Since I already have three daughters, they were rooting for a boy, of course.)
Most of them were disappointed when I revealed that I'd be saving tonnes of money on clothes and that Number 4 will be going to her sisters' school.
Granted, the hub and I were also hoping for a son. Not because we're gender bias or supremely traditional, but we wanted to experience what it would be like parenting a boy. Obviously fate has other plans for us. What we really hope for now is to be blessed with a normal, healthy baby child.
And no, we are NOT going to try for a boy. Four kids is already stretching our finances to the max. Plus I don't fancy going through this whole cycle again. There's a REAL difference when you're preggers in the 20s and 30s. I'm hitting 40 this year so my bio-clock is close to the expiry date.
I'm now 36 weeks into my fourth successful pregnancy. During my last check-up at the doc's, my little tenant weighed approximately 2.2kg and if she stays in there till full term, she's likely to tip the scales at 3kg and above. Here's a 3D scanned image of my Number 4 in utero:
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| Hello. I am Number 4. |
A new chapter awaits.
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