My Inspiring Dad

I read this poem as part of the eulogy I delivered at Mandai Crematorium on 19 March 2016, Saturday.

I tried my darnest to be composed, choking back only at the last few lines. Under the circumstances, I think I didn't fare that badly. My uncle caught part of it on film: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNRDzsJVuec.

I just keep reminding myself Dad HATES tears and how, when I was younger, he would fly off his handle whenever I started to cry. I was always too emotional for my own good and that got me into a whole lot of trouble with Dad.

Well, that's past now. All the crying in the world can't bring him back. And he would be upset if he knows I've been quietly weeping under the blanket or in the shower when no-one else was around. 

Everyone tells me how Time will heal all wounds and I know eventually it will. But right now, my feelings are too raw and I've to look for my own coping mechanism to express my grief.

And writing about it is a start.

* * *

In Loving Memory of The First Man I’ve ever loved. Rest In Peace Dad.

Teo Cher Aik, Richard
15 July 1942 to 15 March 2016

My Inspiring Dad

The measure of a man is weighed not in gold
But by the richness of his heart
His generous deeds
His riveting stories told

As I listen to all that's shared about you
I'm very much ashamed to admit
There's so much I didn't know
And how so little I actually knew

Growing up I often watched from afar
Always in awe of your commanding presence
Your fiery conviction and passionate beliefs
Traits that define who you are

My rebellious years angered you constantly
You judged me rude, hopeless, incorrigible
I deemed you loveless, tyrannical, unreasonable
When ordered, I obeyed grudgingly

Your words always stung
When you grilled me for my actions
But that's when you'd let slip Life's crucial lessons
And onto them I've since steadfastly clung

Yet I remained stubborn, impertinent
Too eager to prove my worth
Too eager to challenge your views
Because I was juvenile, impatient

I only understood in later years
Why you did what you'd done
When adulthood and parenthood came my way
The wisdom in your words would ring in my ears

Perhaps I didn't turn out the way you hoped
– No fame, no glory, no big money for me
But one easily contended with simple blessings –
Making you worry endlessly about how I coped

Dad, I ask that you have some Faith in me
So don’t despair so quickly
Be rest assured that when darkness falls I'll follow the beacon of your guiding light
Your twin principles: Integrity and Humility

You're a man of your word; your name is your honour
A loyal true friend who puts others before self
A natural born leader whose Empathy and Magnanimity know no bounds
And truly there will never be another

You're the binding force that united strangers
Forging friendships that last through decades
Even when some abuse your Generosity and Trust
You shrugged your shoulders and continued to support others

I am humbled and honoured to have been your Daughter
And I owe you a debt of gratitude which I've yet to repay
Thank you for all you've done for me and the family
Indeed no one could have asked for a better Father

Today you embark on a new journey
To a tranquil place free from suffering, pain and woes
We shall meet again, Dad - no ifs, no buts
So I shan't say farewell for this parting is only temporary

We will all miss you dearly – that you must certainly know
And now there's such a huge void to fill in us all
As much as we dread this moment
We acknowledge it's time to let you go

Here's a final bow and salute to you
(Sir) Richard Teo Cher Aik
You'll remain entrenched in our hearts forever
Rest in Peace and remember always that we love you


Teo Yuan Ching
19 March 2016


Copyright © 2016 Teo Yuan Ching