Dad left us exactly three weeks ago.
We're still coming to terms with the emptiness but we plod on with our daily routine and busy ourselves so that we won't have time to notice his absence.
My aunts (his younger sisters) and two of my daughters (Xian and Wei) have dreamt of him. In their dreams, he's smiling, cheerful, feasting on his favourite foods, waving from the car, horseback riding etc. I haven't dreamt of Dad at all, but I do have dreams related to him even though he's not appeared in them. So yes, he's still in our hearts and minds.
I can't (and don't want to) retain images of him in his last few months when he was so severely weakened by treatments that his memory, mobility and speech were affected. I hated to see my father wither away, fighting a futile duel with Death, a battle no mortal has ever won.
No, I'm sure that's not how he wants us to remember him. And I believe that's why he pushed away friends, even some family members, because he didn't want others to witness his rapid degeneration. Many friends who attended the funeral wake expressed regret/anger that they didn't know the severity of his deteriorating condition, or that they came to know of it much too late. When some eventually did visit him, he was unresponsive and lost his will/ability to speak.
While we're sad he's left us, I choose to believe that he's in a better place. I bet he's enjoying his freedom now, exploring his new home, catching up with old friends, engaging in fiery debates with others over politics, playing golf, doing qigong/tai chi, enjoying his favourite dishes...and many other activities he loves.
Yesterday, as part of the "Ji Ling" ritual, we visited Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery, the Columbarium where we placed Dad's remains. Knowing Dad, he's definitely appreciating the clean, green sprawling lands (about the size of 10 football fields) and unique architecture of Chinese and Southeast Asian influence.
We're all convinced this is undeniably the best final resting place for him. Have a great afterlife Dad!
We're still coming to terms with the emptiness but we plod on with our daily routine and busy ourselves so that we won't have time to notice his absence.
My aunts (his younger sisters) and two of my daughters (Xian and Wei) have dreamt of him. In their dreams, he's smiling, cheerful, feasting on his favourite foods, waving from the car, horseback riding etc. I haven't dreamt of Dad at all, but I do have dreams related to him even though he's not appeared in them. So yes, he's still in our hearts and minds.
I can't (and don't want to) retain images of him in his last few months when he was so severely weakened by treatments that his memory, mobility and speech were affected. I hated to see my father wither away, fighting a futile duel with Death, a battle no mortal has ever won.
No, I'm sure that's not how he wants us to remember him. And I believe that's why he pushed away friends, even some family members, because he didn't want others to witness his rapid degeneration. Many friends who attended the funeral wake expressed regret/anger that they didn't know the severity of his deteriorating condition, or that they came to know of it much too late. When some eventually did visit him, he was unresponsive and lost his will/ability to speak.
While we're sad he's left us, I choose to believe that he's in a better place. I bet he's enjoying his freedom now, exploring his new home, catching up with old friends, engaging in fiery debates with others over politics, playing golf, doing qigong/tai chi, enjoying his favourite dishes...and many other activities he loves.
Yesterday, as part of the "Ji Ling" ritual, we visited Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery, the Columbarium where we placed Dad's remains. Knowing Dad, he's definitely appreciating the clean, green sprawling lands (about the size of 10 football fields) and unique architecture of Chinese and Southeast Asian influence.
We're all convinced this is undeniably the best final resting place for him. Have a great afterlife Dad!
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| Pagoda of 10,000 Buddhas |
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