Fanny

in loving memory of our beloved, loyal and faithful german shepherd, fanny, who passed away on 9 april 2007, monday. my words don't do justice to her at all, and the more i write, the harder it is for me to dry my eyes. although she's hub's dog and he's closest to her, her death's a very painful thing so i can imagine he's feeling much worse than i am.

Fanny

The first time we met
That was back in late 1995
We got off on a wrong footing
Fanny and I
I’d already heard much about her
Seen beautiful photographs too
She’d been Sum’s priority
She’d loved him unconditionally
She’d been the apple of his eye
She was always there

Then I appeared
Whenever I showed up
She’d bare her teeth
Growl throatily and deeply to scare
Crouch down low ready to spring
She was a real bitch
She didn’t like my scent on him
She didn’t like me one bit
She didn’t want to share
She was always there

It took us a year to work things out
I learnt her bark’s worse than her bite
And once we clicked we got on like fire
On weekends when I visited
I’d bath her, even brush her teeth
I’d comb her thick short coat of fur
I’d take her for walks
Though she'd tug forcefully at her leash
Strong limbs threatened to tear my arms
She was always there

Marriage and babies arrived
Regretfully I spent less time with her
She grew older as did we
Her legs bulked under her weight
She couldn’t eat much
She couldn’t stand up much
She couldn’t enjoy her walks much
Film formed in her soft brown eyes
Streaks of grey peppered her thick coat
But she was always there

Over the long years
She could walk no more
And she got around with a crawl
Her hind legs rendered immobile
Her appetite virtually destroyed
Her raw wounds and exposed skin hurt
But she faithfully greeted us
Every now and then
With a sniff and feeble raised head
Yet she was always there

On Easter Sunday
She whimpered all day in pain
Howled mournfully through the night
Glistening tears filled her once-bright eyes
Streamed freely down her forlorn face
My pillow was drenched that night
I'd resisted but I knew in my heart
It was finally time to let her go
Although I wished and prayed
She was always there

Next morn we made the dreadful call
One that would end it all
Her suffering
Her agonising pain
Her life of 14 years
Now she no longer exists
She lays no more outside the door
To greet us when we are home
But etched in our mourning hearts
She will always be there

Teo Yuan Ching
10 April 2007

Copyright © 2007 Teo Yuan Ching