New Role Tomorrow

It's the final day of June. Just one more day before I assume the responsibilities of a Section Head.

While I'm glad that my efforts have been recognised and that I've been given this opportunity to expand my portfolio and take on more responsibilities, I'm mindful of the fact that I am now a mother to 3 growing children and hence am faced with an uphill task of juggling work and home duties. I believe all working mothers encounter the same dilemma of walking on a tight rope, trying to keep focused and delicately balancing between family and career.

When I first took on a managerial role back in 2001, I had no kids. It was easy to concentrate on getting things done because I didn't have to worry about rushing home to check on unfinished homework, breaking up kiddy squabbles or making sure there's breakfast for the kids etc. One of the key reasons why I left my previous workplace was that I was spending too much time in the office and not enough precious moments with my girls. (Wen was about 6 months old when I made the conscious decision to leave the job). I deliberately opted for a slower-pace and practically gave up my career to start from scratch as a lecturer without management responsibilities. And for 4 years, I enjoyed engaging with the youths and concentrated on teaching, imparting knowledge and experience to my students.

From tomorrow onwards, I'll be taking on the additional responsibility of managing a few colleagues and other administrative work. Granted, all this won't be new to me as I previously had about 30 full-time and 10 part-time lecturers under my charge. But it's been 4 years since I last helmed a team of professionals and I was getting used to the "freedom" of not managing people.

Things will definitely change. And I hope I'll be able to live up to expectations.

Sick Leave = Mummy Work

After 3 continuous days of excruciating headaches, 2 days of severe sore throat where I wasn't able to swallow anything without grimacing in pain, and numerous attempts to self-medicate, I conceded defeat and sought professional medical help.

By the time I decided to see the doctor, it was already 4.30 p.m. and the usual clinics I patronised were closed. But I was really in no shape to drag it out further so I told my boss that I was going back and left the office.

Just before I reached home, I decided to make a quick detour aound the estate to see if there was any clinic opened and was lucky to spot one which closed at 6 p.m. The hub and Xian have both visited the clinic before, and I remember it being quite pricey (almost double of the fees I usually pay). But this time I was really in no shape to contemplate because my throat was inflamed and I couldn't even drink water let alone eat a proper meal.

Yes, I was rather desperate to get cured because as a lecturer, my voice is my key asset and I can't afford to lose it. I was given a dose of antibiotics and medication for my headache, throat and nose (the doctor reckons it's going to start) and he insisted that I take a day off from work to recuperate.

That's a laugh, really. Recuperate? At home? Ha!

For the record, I hate taking medical leave to stay home 'cos it's nearly impossible to take a breather with all the kids clamouring for my attention. And it's very convenient for the usual care-givers to park the responsibility back to me when I"m around without realising that the whole idea of being on medical leave means I'm supposed to rest.

So here I am, typing this entry on Zac my Mac while all 3 kids running berserk. Wei's raiding the cupboard and pulling out bottles of chicken essence, Wen's just asked me to help her pry open the piggy bank and Xian's getting into a tiff with MIL over breakfast.

*Sigh*

Mummy's gotta take on some mummy work now.

World Cup 2010

The short term break is over and school's in full swing.

And now that we're in the thick of World Cup fever, I'm a little disappointed that I'm no longer able to function with just 3 to 4 hours of sleep so the 2.30am matches will soon be a thing of the past. Age is indeed catching up.

*Sigh*

It's getting progressively tough to stay focused during the day when I've only caught snatches of winks. A few days ago, my head was pounding so badly that I skipped dinner and took an hour's rest immediately after I reached home from work. I sprawled on the mattress and vaguely remember Xian coming in to the room sporadically to "check" on me and asking if I needed water. The throbbing pain didn't go away even after I had a quick shower and ate a few spoonfuls of rice just to fill the stomach.

I did, however, manage to catch the historical match between Portugal and North Korea where the former trounced the latter 7-0. I've never been a huge Cristiano Ronaldo fan because he's a bit of a show-off. But then again, with such chiseled good looks and sexy physique, it's hard to remain grounded. With a headache still gnawing at my brains, I went to bed early and gave the later matches a miss.

Yesterday, my head wasn't so heavy but I could still feel the tension against my temples throughout the entire day. Last night, I watched former world champs Les Blues fall from grace as they lost to host South Africa 2-1. The French were in wretched disarray and it was excruciatingly painful to watch. WIth their recent spade of bad luck, poor form and controversial internal squabbles, and the fact that they were down to 10 men, France was fortunate to salvage a goal to ensure that they didn't leave the tournament without scoring.

So far, the many of the European giants have failed to deliver. Reigning World Cup champs Italy and Euro Champs Spain seem to be struggling and their last few matches have been disappointing to say the least. Tonight, England takes on Slovenia while USA tackles Algeria.

Hopefully, I rid myself of the blasted headaches as I'd really love to watch the matches!

Favouritism

I've been reviewing my posts and to my utmost horror, realised that 80% of my posts related to family are based on my firstborn, Xian, and this could lead to some false conclusion that she's the only one of my 3 kids whom I care about.

Perhaps as the firstborn, Xian's milestones and experiences impact me the hardest as I'm also following her on these adventures for the first time as a parent. As a result, many of the "first time" journeys are both hers and mine.

That's not to say that Wen and Wei will take the same paths because they are all different in their own ways. So all my experiences with Xian may be completely be reversed, based on each girl's character and development.

Of the 3 girls, Xian's the most good-natured, carefree and mild-tempered. She's a lovely girl; kind and considerate and cares for those around her. Academically, she may not be brilliant as my 8-year-old Little Miss Scatterbrain's got some dyslexic characteristics and needs time to improve on her learning skills.

Xian's rather sporty, active and likes dancing and swimming. She even taught herself how to cycle in a week (and didn't fall much) last year. Xian's also a dog lover and enjoys helping out at Woofy's Corner our pet shop once in a while. A few months back, she started to take a liking to fishing and now she accompanies the hub on his fishing trips to the pond. In order to fuel her interest further, the hub even bought her a new rod and reel as her birthday present!

Xian's "catch" (with some help) - a redtail catfish

Xian's 8th birthday 2010

As for my 5-year-old Wen, she's quite the complete opposite. While Xian's clearly more sociable and outgoing, and takes to people quickly, Wen's reserved, cautious and may appear standoffish at times. But once she's warmed up, she's extremely sweet, friendly and loyal. Her school principal Ms Chua told me last year that Wen's a "serious" girl who didn't smile or respond when she (the principal) greeted her in the mornings. However, when I met Ms Chua recently, she noted a marked improvement in Wen's attitude and said that Wen now smiles cheerfully and says "Good Morning Ms Chua" or "Goodbye Ms Chua". I guess it's because Wen's now more used to the environment after 1 year of studying in the kindergarten.

Wen can't dance as well as her older sister but she likes to sing and makes up her own songs, especially when she's playing on her own in a corner of the room. Wen's pretty quick in picking up new skills and is a fast learner. Unfortunately she doesn't like to do extra work and can be distracted easily, as shared by her Jan & Elly English Teacher Sam. Apparently she doesn't pay attention in class and takes a long time to complete her tasks because she's busy playing with buttons on her jacket or looking at her friends' work to listen to her teacher's instructions. When I spoke to Wen's kindergarten teacher, she affirmed that Wen's pretty quiet in class but she does mix around with her friends. But she's a real chatterbox at home.

I chanced upon this link which talks about parenting and how the birth order of children affects their character development. Based on the article, Wen displays some classic "Middle Child Syndrome" traits i.e. the attention-seeking loner who doesn't understand why she can't be first. She startled me recently with this conversation thread:

Wen: Why is my birthday last? I don't want to be last!
Me: Huh? What do you mean?
Wen: Everyone's celebrated their birthday already!

(Wei's in April, Xian's in May, Wen's in August)

Me: But you can't choose your birthday. Yours is coming soon. Just a few more months.
Wen: But I don't want to wait. I want my birthday to be first!
Sigh. Wen often complains about not being 'first' and dislikes wearing Xian's hand-me-downs. Unlike Xian who's not too bothered about her appearance, and is comfortable in grubby T-shirts and shorts, Wen's quite a vain 'princess' and wants to wear pretty (pink, mostly) dresses most of the time. She has a nasty habit of being an obstinate and overly whiny crybaby, which irritates us to no end. My personal take is that she's upset about being sandwiched in between her sisters and do this to get our attention. She's also extremely sharp and perceptive, and can read into situations quickly.

The way into Wen's heart is, believe it or not, food. She's adventurous with trying out new food and I often have to resort to "bribing" her with food when she misbehaves. Hence, one of my nicknames for her is "meaty" because she's got a great appetite (though she isn't overweight or pudgy) and its a real delight to see her enjoying her meals. :)

Wen, my Little Miss Vain, in Bali

Wen at Woofy's Corner with Cody, Mabel's corgi

Wei is only 2 but she's definitely not a pushover. In fact, she's a tough little nut and won't allow herself to be at disadvantage just because she's the youngest. When the girls squabble, she's usually the culprit who kick off the fight and would terrorise her sisters by biting, scratching, kicking and pulling their hair. Wei can be quite commanding and bosses her sisters around (though I think they give in to humour her). She's quite fearless and even has the audacity to go up against the MIL (who's never had any of her kids or grandkids disobey her).

If you ask me about Wei's most unique behaviour, it would be that she loves fruits and vegetables! Yes, she attacks greenies, sometimes raw, and her favourites are broccoli, cauliflower, string beans, lettuce, grapes, oranges and apples. When we bring the kids out for pizza and spaghetti, I'd order salad for Wei and she'll happily crunch on them!

Wei seems mature for a her age and hardly acts "baby-like", possibly because of the influence from her older sisters. She's fiercely independent and as soon as she mastered the art of grabbing a spoon, started to eat on her own (refusing anybody's assistance) before she turned 2. Wei started walking when she was 12 months, earlier than her sisters who both wobbled about till they were about 14 plus months. A cheeky, demanding firecracker who's fiercely protective of me (she doesn't allow anyone to disturb me, her milk source). B ut at the same time, Wei tends to bully me quite a fair bit too. Perhaps after 3 kids, I'm a little less uptight and fussy about managing them especially since I'm outnumbered.

Wei playing at the park

Wei enjoying her own birthday cake

So there. A quick analysis of my lovely daughters, each unique and special in their own right.

But what about this concept of favouritism? I try, as often as I possibly can, to remain fair and impartial and not to take sides when they have disagreements. I go all out to ensure that each of them get equal treatment although the older two girls sometimes use the "Not fair! Che Che / Mei Mei can do this and I can't" tactic to make me feel guilty.

In the same article about Middle Child Syndrome, I found this paragraph which touched a nerve:

Favoritism
An especially charged topic among parents is favoritism. Favoritism is a word no parent would like to use, even if in most cases it is somewhat inevitable. As a parent, you find yourself drawn to a child who is most like you — traits that you can identify with and deeply empathize with as you experience them yourself.

But, siblings are like hawks when it comes to clues of favoring, and as parents we have endless capacity to love all our children uniquely. So you need to celebrate what you love about each, and absolutely curb yourself from ever saying that one child is more loved. It often helps to remind ourselves that we have endless capacity to love our children uniquely.

Read more: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/14335112/#ixzz0quhFNQ8g
What more can I say? I'm only human and while I can try my best to ensure I don't practise favouritism, I may not always succeed, depending on the situation. But all I can ascertain is this: I love all my girls dearly and as a mum I'll do everything I possibly can to nurture and provide them with an appropriate home environment so that they'll grow up to be mature, responsible individuals with a goodness in their hearts.

My 3 darlings - Xian, Wen Wei

The girls at Cold Storage Kids Run 2010

My Silver Girl!

Xian's passed her National Survival Swimming Award (NASSA) Silver Test yesterday! According to this website, the NASSA is a test which simulates a scenario of a sinking ship loaded with passengers and goods. The objective is to educate and train candidates to possess the knowledge and competence to overcome adversities in a genuine situation. Pre-requisite: NASSA Bronze Award (Xian passed this in March 2009) Attire while undergoing Test: Male - Long pants, long-sleeve shirt or T-shirt Female - Dress or slacks, long-sleeved blouse or shirt or T-shirt Children below 12 years old may use short-sleeve shirt / blouse or pyjamas Criteria: Straddle or tuck jump entry from the side of the pool, and swim 100 meters within 4 minutes Demonstrate ability to "drown-proof" for 1 minute Tread water using one arm, with one arm at the back of the body for 1 minutes Immediately after, tread water for 3 minutes using both arms Undress in water, make float with attire and use it to swim 25 meters using legs only Swim 200 meters using backstroke, 200 meters using sidestroke, 400 meters using front stroke (breast stroke / freestyle) During the course of this swim (front stroke), the candidate must execute 2 dives: 1 head first, and 1 leg first. (each dive must swim submerged for at least 5 meters) Climb out from the deep end of the pool without the use of steps or assistance. Each successful candidate will receive a collar pin, woven badge and a certificate, which can be collected at the test venue approximately one month after the test. It's a pity I wasn't able to take more pictures towards the end of Xian's test as my youngest rascal Wei was getting sleepy and fussing away. It was also drizzling and not a good idea to carry Wei and take pictures at the same time. Anyway, here are some photos: If you ask me, it's really not an easy test. I was initially quite apprehensive about registering her for it because I wasn't sure if she'd be able to swim 100m within 4 minutes. Plus it requires stamina and endurance to complete 800m in various strokes. But her coach, Mr Bakar, clearly believed she was ready so I registered her for the test 2 weeks back. Yesterday morning, I drove Xian together with Wen, Wei, MIL and FIL to Toa Payoh Swimming Complex. It's where she usually attends her swimming lessons and it's also the test venue. MIL wanted to go along to watch Xian swim and also to give her some moral support. Midway through the test, Wen, Wei and myself went to the side of the pool to clap, wave and cheer Xian on. Towards the end of the test, poor Xian was clearly worn out and she was the last one out of the pool. But this isn't a test of speed and I'm very proud that Xian completed the required assessment rounds. At least she didn't give up midway through (2 kids did) and stuck it out till the very end. Xian later confided that she was exhausted but she thought of how she would let us down if she didn't complete the test. But she was energised when she saw her sisters and I running along the side of the pool and calling out to her. I'm sure glad we all went down with her :) Next stop: GOLD! Xian's definitely not ready to take the gold now as the requirements are much tougher and she's got a long way more before she can beat the clock. No pressure and no rush to complete it as I'd rather she does it in her own time. Anyhow, I just found out that NASSA will be replaced by a new national water safety programme SwimSafer from 5 July 2010. Hence, I'm not sure what the conversion leveling will be and whether she'll be eligible to take the gold award based on her NASSA silver. I'll leave that to her coach to decide and he'll inform us when she's prepared. :) Xian in her PJs and all ready for the test MIL helps to tuck stray hairs into the swimming cap as Wei decides to put on a cap too Cheeky Wei! Xian (Cap 3, 3rd from right) taking instructions from the tester Xian in action Completed: 1st task of swimming 100m with 4 minutes, waiting for next segment Treading water - she had to undress underwater, make a float out of her PJ pants and swim back Wen waiting at the side of the pool to cheer Xian on!

Trade Secrets Revealed

I'd mentioned a few days back about a new working environment and mentioned I'd reveal it once the officially announcement is made.

My current Course Manager (CM), Mr. D, will be going on a study leave for a year to pursue a Masters degree at the Lee Kuan Yew School of Public Policy, NUS. The management decided to appoint a new CM in his place and one of our current Section Heads, SK, will be taking over with effect from 1 July 2010.

As a result of these changes, there's a need to fill the position of a Section Head within the department and yes, I'll be taking on these new responsibilities on 1 July 2010.

I think this comes as no surprise to some of my colleagues as they'd already been speculating about succession issues and "who's next" if ever an opportunity crops up.

When I was asked to meet JC, one of the deputy directors, about 2 months back for an informal albeit confidential discussion, nothing was mentioned about my CM going on study leave etc. He'd only asked my opinions about becoming a Section Head and if I'd consider it if offered. Honestly, I didn't think much about it as all the positions were filled and I was quite sure none of the current SHs were relinquishing their responsibilities. I believed it was merely a chat to explore various options and that it won't take place so soon.

After the informal discussion with JC, nothing was mentioned although I'd been asked to submit my accomplishments and detailed resume for consideration. So when I was called into a short meeting 2 weeks back, the bombshells were dropped and I was dumbfounded because I was expecting another "discussion" with my bosses before any decision was made.

Anyway, in 2 weeks' time, I'll have new responsibilities to handle, which includes managing a few colleagues. I've not be given any briefing on my additional duties yet but I believe it'll be within the next few weeks. Wish me luck!

Mambo Italiano

The hub and I thoroughly enjoyed Patrizio Buanne's concert on Thursday night. Just one word: AWESOME. 

Ever the consummate performer, the multi-talented Patrizio wowed us with his incredible pitch-perfect vocals, sensual dance moves and dazzling showmanship. Not surprisingly, 60% of the audience comprised of women mostly aged 30 and above, and many were mesmerised by his sexy, smoking 'come-hither' bedroom eyes and smothering good looks. 

Patrizio opened with "Americano" and most of the songs he sang, including the groovy "Mambo Italiano" were from his third and latest album Patrizio although he did perform a few old favourites like "Il Mondo", "Bella Bella Signorina", "Forever Begins Tonight, "Un Angelo" (Angels) and "Let's Make Love". 

What made the lively concert unforgettable was Patrizio's passion for music and his emotional connection with the audience. He showcased his boyish sense of humour and charming personality when he bantered away to his audience in between songs. The 32-year-old Italian has obviously perfected the art of seducing the camera to present his best features: his deep-set grey-blue eyes which sent many hearts a-fluttering. 

Here are some photos taken during the fantastic concert:

After the concert, we even decided to stand in line to get Patrizio's autograph on a special edition CD and poster. As my cramped toes needed a little breather (not used to wearing 3-and-a-half inch heels), I sat at the side bench while the hub queued up and it was quite hilarious to see him standing there with so many women who were deep in discussion on how they would approach Patrizio for photos. There were, of course, several other men milling around who looked completely bored to tears. They were probably dragged down to accompany their Patrizio-smitten wives or girlfriends - probably in exchange for permission to watch all the World Cup matches.

I suspect the hub was in front of some ardent Patrizio fan club members (they look older than my mum!) as they were wearing Patrizio badges and sharing excitedly about how they met him at previous concerts. When one of Patrizio's musicians walked past, these ladies gesticulated wildly and even called out his name. He came over with a wine glass in his hand and spoke to them, even posing for pictures with the excited bunch.

Then the man-of-the-moment appeared and almost every single lady in the line whipped out their cameras and screamed his name in delight. Nobody fainted or held up home-made "Marry Me!" signs though - I guess most of his fans are mature and affluent, with a certain status to maintain :) The hub made his way to the front to try and snap a few shots while I took his place in the queue.

Although I like Patrizio's songs, and was the one who first bought his album for the hub, I haven't been much of a true-blue fan. The main reason why I got the tickers was because the hub enjoys Patrizio's music. But after the concert, I'm now a convert. Admittedly he still isn't my favourite music artiste though he's climbed up a few notches and has made it to my top 10 list.

Most importantly, the hub and I had a great time at the concert as we took this opportunity to celebrate our belated wedding anniversary. Will we be back at Patrizio's next show in Singapore? Most certainly!

Hey Mambo!

The hub and I bought tickets to watch Patrizio Buanne's One Night Only concert this evening at The Max Pavilion@Singapore Expo.

Patrizio's velvety-smooth vocals are soothingly rich, especially in the evenings when it's time to chill and unwind after a long day at work.

Unlike me, the hub's not a huge fan of popular music genres like rock/alternative/rap etc. He prefers crooners and operatic, classical cross-overs like Andrea Bocelli, Sarah Brightman and celtic-inspired sounds of Enya.

Patrizio is currently the hub's favourite artiste and when I read that the Italian Baritone was coming to Singapore, I wasted in time in getting the concert tickets.

I suppose we could consider tonight's show as our belated wedding anniversary celebration too :)

Here's a video of Patrizio singing a cover of Robbie William's Angels:

The Gores No More

My usual routine when I get to my desk every morning at work once I switch on my notebook is to click on the Yahoo news pop up "Top Stories" which usually features a mix of news and entertainment headlines. If there isn't any article that tickles my fancy, I just ignore the links and move on to check my email.

This morning was no different. But I did a double take when I saw this screaming for my attention: "Al Gore, wife Tipper, to separate".

At ages 62 and 61 respectively, the high school sweethearts have decided to end their marriage after 40 years - a union which spawned 4 kids, an 8-term Vice Presidency, an unsuccessful President candidacy and even a Nobel peace prize in 2007.

I'm sure the question on everyone's mind is: So what really happened? A seemingly perfect partnership gone sour? Were there external catalytic factors that drove a wedge between them? Or did they just became bored with each other? According to another source, timesonline, the couple had "grown apart".

This set me thinking about my own marriage. We'd just celebrated 11 years together as man and wife. So far, it's been a remarkable journey riddled with ups and downs, as all marriages would attest. But would we ever reach the stage where the mere sight of each other would send each running to opposite directions?

I guess that's something we'll never know for sure. After all, the only thing certain in life is death.

June's here!

My word, it's June already!

Thank goodness for 2 week mid-term break. Nothing like a short reprieve to recharge the old batteries.

Speaking of old, I'll be 36 in 3 weeks. Being in my mid 30s isn't as scary as I thought it would be.

I'm taking half the day off to celebrate the birthdays of 2 other fellow Gemini colleagues. We'll be meeting up with Moo who's also clearing leave to join us for a short reunion lunch. And at the speed at which I drive, I'd better get ready to zoom off else I'll be late.

Time to take stock of things and plan for the remaining 6 months.