Qi's Little Steps

My fourthborn has hit one of the biggest milestones in her life – she can now walk!

For every parent, a child’s first steps are the most anticipated and momentous developmental process. Why? Perhaps it’s because walking signals the start of independence – a child’s ability to rely on his own feet, charting his own direction and taking control of his path.

I can’t pinpoint the exact dates my girls started to walk unaided and it’s a pity I didn’t think of documenting those special moments. Regrettably, I was too overconfident of remembering the details (and now my aging brain has failed me) though I can roughly recall the months they started to take those wobbly first steps: Xian (14 months), Wen (15 months), Wei (12 months) and now Qi (13 months).

With Qi, I managed to capture her attempts on the iPad – she walked about 5 steps, without assistance, on 4 April 2015. Exactly 13 months after she appeared in our lives. Weeks before, she’d showed signs that she was all ready and raring to go, taking 1 or 2 steps before faltering and getting up to try again. She’s quite the determined, cheeky, agile little monkey despite her tiny frame (she’s only in the 25^th percentile for her weight and almost 50^th percentile for her height) and we weren’t surprised she was cruising rather quickly.

Two Saturdays ago, we took the kids to the airport with the sole purpose of letting Qi “practise” her walking. The wide open spaces (usually the viewing gallery) are perfect for toddlers who need the “runway”. That’s where her older sisters headed to almost every other weekend while they were learning how to walk and run too. We selected a quiet, isolated spot at T3 and let loose our delighted fourthborn who was giggling and squealing with delight as she spirited up and down the alley. 

Here's proof of our exuberant toddler strutting her stuff, with her watchful "bodyguards" hovering by her side: 

And now, two weeks later, she's steadily dashing about wildly. And we're exhausted scrambling after her.

How fast the kids grow.

How I miss the baby days. ;'(

Daddy's Dynamite

What do you get for a simple, down-to-earth and super practical dude who isn't really into gadgets or expensive branded goods?

Something you can't swipe off the shelves and wrap up in shimmery paper.

Every time he's a daddy again, he gets a 'birthday' poem from his baby girl. He's got three so far, in the respective following years of the girls' births: 2003, 2006, 2009. And now 2015 after the appearance of our fiery-tempered Fourthborn.


Daddy's Dynamite
I know many envy me
Just 'cos I'm the family's baby
Everyone thinks I get my way
And all I do is eat, sleep, poo and play
They don't know how boring it can be
When I'm up and no other Leonglets are around but me
Too bad my three cheh-chehs are already in school
But Daddy do you know what's really cool?
Yours is the first face I see when I wake
That's right, there's no mistake
I know that voice, that hair, that face
Ain't no other who can take your place
Mummy is functional, I can't deny
My calcium fix on her I rely
But Daddy you're my fun-maker playmate
Though you've got so much on your plate
You settle my morning bath before work takes you away
Sometimes you even pop back home midday
Just to check on how I'm doing
Whether I'm eating right, napping and pooping
And when the Moon lights up the night sky
That's when you'll hear me screech and cry
Cos I refuse to sleep - sleep is for the weak!
I may just be a baby but I certainly am not meek
When you step in and do your Daddy discipline thing
I raise the stakes and get into the ring
I fight and scream till I'm hoarse
Seriously. Am I not the little boss?
No-one else can decipher my need
No-one else takes any heed
Only you can understand my pattern
Rocking the sarong to a swaying rhythm
No trial-and-error, no second guessing
You know my demands when I start fussing
Despite me giving you sleepless nights
You patiently put up with my relentless fights
Thank you for loving me come what may
Hugs and kisses from your littlest dynamite Sook Kei

~ Baby Sook Kei ~

Teo Yuan Ching
25 March 2015

Copyright © 2015 Teo Yuan Ching

Dynamite

Incredible how I've let time slip through my fingers.

Last year I was wailing over how Fourthborn was literally taking her own sweet time to meet the world.

And now we're gearing up for her 1st birthday.

This one's for you, Qi.When you grow up and read this, I hope you'll realise the torture you've put as all through.

But we all still love you to bits.

Yes, even when you're totally unreasonable and wake up 3 times in the middle of the night to nurse. And thank you for allowing me at least 3-4 hours sleep everyday. I should be so grateful.

Dynamite

I'm a pint-sized firecracker who doesn't like much to sleep
And this makes my poor caregivers pull their hair and resignedly weep

I'm super duper picky over my caregivers too
Not any Tom, Dick, Harry, Lisa, Mary or Jane will do

There's a priority list of who I fancy
Daddy, Mummy, Big Sis - and that's pretty much for me

I don't like to drink from cups or bottles 'cos I prefer it straight from Mummy
And I'd rather wait to drink from the source even when my tummy's rumbly

True, I may be at the bottom 25% in size and weight
But try messing with me and you'll realise too late

I'm not to be trifled with 'cos I've a nasty temper
And my cranky tantrums are ear-piercing sessions to remember

You may wonder how I get so much energy despite my seemingly poor appetite
Here's my secret: I recharge by snacking on powerbanks and wires 'cos I'm a super dynamite!

My little Dynamite

Teo Yuan Ching
22 February 2015

Copyright © 2015 Teo Yuan Ching

When colours matter

Last week I got a pedicure done and faced the usual dilema: which colour should I paint my toenails in?

It may seem like a frivolous matter totally unworthy of a blog entry but trust me when I say that the colours I pick will spark of a war. Literally.

You see, whenever I get a pedicure, my girls openly squabble over which colour I should choose - usually their favourite colours. Xian roots for purple, Wei chants "GREEN! GREEN! GREEN!" while Wen (who has decidedly outgrown pink) suggests blue, silver and turquoise.

Over the years I've tried out a variety of colours and usually settle for something "safe" i.e. shades of reds, purples, corals, nudes and browns. So last Monday I decided to take a gamble and picked a greenish shade.

The minute the colour was applied on my big toe, I regretted it. Instantly.

I could still change my mind there and then, but I decided to stick with it even though it looked arghfully bleh.

Why?

Because green is Wei's favourite colour and I felt that I "owed" her. And choosing green to "beautify" my twinkle toes was a way of "making it up" to her.

Admittedly, I've been pretty mean to my 6-year-old. Qi has "usurped" Wei's position as baby of the household and Wei's not been reacting well to the situation. While she loves her baby sister to bits, it's obvious that she's still trying to come to terms with how the dynamics of the family has changed. She "acts up" and does things to irritate everyone, just to get our attention.

For example, Wei will jump on the bed while Qi is peacefully lying down. The sudden jolts would shock Qi and she'd cry. That would get us mad and we'd yell at Wei for disturbing her baby sister. Or she'd holler, yell and laugh on purpose when the baby's sleeping. Once, Wei even pinched Qi's cheeks and the baby screamed her lungs out.

I try to control my temper whenever these incidents happen but with less than 6 hours of sleep (interrupted, no less) each day, you can well imagine how grumpy this weary fat cat is. And before I can pinch myself, this provoked tigress roars. No holds barred.

Being the thick-skinned and equally thick-headed child that she is, Wei would usually just shrug her shoulders and stomp off only to return 3 minutes later to either repeat her actions or try a different strategy to get some reaction from me.

It's already exhausting enough to second guess what the baby's trying to communicate. I really don't wish to deal with another kid's insecurities. But I know Wei needs to be reassured that she's still my little ragamuffin and I love her loads despite her constant attempts to push my buttons.

When she caught sight of the colour, she proudly announced to her sisters "Che Che! Mummy painted green you know! GREEN leh!"

Wen the silent observer made sure Wei was out of sight (and ear shot) before she commented, "You chose this to make Wei happy right, Mummy?"

"How did you know?" I asked.

Wen smiled and replied, "Because you don't like green, what! You're just doing this for her. Am I right Mummy?"

Sharp and intuitive, my secondborn. That one keeps her thoughts to herself most of the time but when she does attempt to communicate, she usually surprises me with her sensitivity and maturity.

So here I am with a coat of emerald polish on my toes. It's been exactly a week and I've grown accustomed to the green tips peaking from my slippers. I'll let them grow out and make another trip to the manicurist in a few weeks' time.

Best part? Wei's cut down on her crazy antics these past few days. She's still creating havoc, of course. That's never going to change and we certainly don't expect her to.

Isn't it amazing what a little colour can do?

Baby Dearest

Ok, I may sound like a soundtrack stuck on repeat mode and I'm pretty certain I've mentioned it before but heck, I'll say it again: Motherhood's an incredible experience.

After a break of 6 years, I've *almost* forgotten what it's like caring for a newborn.  (I'd to unlock my memory bank and sieve through archives to retrieve the data.) But like a plug-and-play device, I was up-and-running, and settled into auto-pilot mode within the first month.

Qi is now 8 weeks old and I'll be heading back to work in a month's time. Mixed feelings all round because much as I love my kids, staying home with them full time drives me hair-pulling bonkers. Furthermore, giving up my job will financially cripple us - not that I make tonnes of money as a polytechnic lecturer but feeding a big family doesn't come cheap and every extra bit helps.

While I may not have the luxury of updating my blog on a regular basis, I do try to capture significant moments of my life so that I won't forget them in time to come. Qi has been difficult in the last few weeks, possibly because she's mastered the art of manipulation and skillfully executes her well-planned manoeuvres to get what she wants. No longer the calm, sleeping newborn who was so easy to care for in the early days.

We've had a fair share of rotten days when she'd yell her lungs out and nothing seemed to pacify her. I'd get frustrated in return and lash out at the older ones (usually Wei) who often fuel my rage by procrastinating, lazing around, squabbling with each other and getting on my nerves with their nonchalant ways and general misbehaviour. Not forgetting the well-meaning advice dispensed which I do appreciate but not necessarily always want to act on because I have differing views. And then everyone becomes unhappy and I berate myself for upsetting the balance in our family.

*SIGH*

Note to self: I need to work on my anger management skills. Harsh words uttered in a fit of anger can't be retracted.

Anyway, I penned this simple poem while everyone was out, leaving both Qi and me alone to enjoy each other's company. Conversation was one-way, although she occasionally grunted, snorted, gurgled, cried and cooed in response.

And then she flashed this wide, heartfelt grin:

In one fell swoop, every ounce of negative energy drained from my pores. Those sleepless nights, the crazy feeding fights, dirty diaper wars and wailing matches were all worth the while.

And all it took was one toothless smile.

Qi, this one's for you.


Baby Dearest 

I forgive you when you're super cranky
Screaming down the house

I forgive you being a fussy eater
Regurgitating milk on my blouse

I forgive you for restricting my diet
Making me constantly check your poo

I forgive you for my blood-shot panda eyes
Waking me every other hour or two

I forgive you when you refuse to sleep
Insisting on being rocked and cuddled by me

I forgive you for keeping me up in the wee hours
Cooing and gurgling till three

I forgive you even when you cry for no reason

Understanding you've limited means of communication

I forgive you when you're demanding and loud
Fighting with your sisters for my exclusive attention

I forgive you for every frustration you cause
Knowing it isn't at all deliberate

I forgive you for every little thing my child
Being mum to you, darling girl, is a welcomed fate

Teo Yuan Ching
4 May 2014

Copyright © 2014 Teo Yuan Ching

Number Four's Ditty

One of the silly songs created to amuse (myself) the kids.

Number Four's Ditty

大姐 (da jie) is the sleepy one
Who can't get out of bed

二姐 (er jie) is the grumpy one
Who sulks from toes to head

三姐 (san jie) is the noisy one
Who loves to yell and scream

And I am the cutesy one
Who's going to be their Queen!


Teo Yuan Ching
9 April 2014

Copyright © 2014 Teo Yuan Ching

Fourth Born

For my Number Four (who's technically my sixth). As per "tradition", I've written a short little poem for Qi.

Number Four: Qi

Fourth Born

Her arrival was a long time coming
And everyone waited in gleeful anticipation
Three sisters, Mummy and Daddy
All eager to give her their undivided attention

This little sweetie's as cool as can be

To arrive she's obviously in no big hurry

She probably reasoned: what's a few extra days or hours 

I'll be there when I'm good and ready

The baby Piscean finally makes a splash
On 4 March 2014 Tuesday
Galloping into the Year of Horse
Our fourth little Leonglet - Sook Kei


Teo Yuan Ching
28 March 2014

Copyright © 2014 Teo Yuan Ching

Presenting Number 4

Sorry, I'm two weeks too late in announcing this.

But I guess it's obvious by now that my little tenant has been evicted.

You'll have to excuse me for this belated announcement. As all mums of newborns know, the younglings don't understand the concept of time.

Or personal space.

Or that their life-givers need to take regular breaks and rest (I'm not even talking about sleep).

The little ones only know that when they're hungry, they want to be fed IMMEDIATELY.

Or they're squirmy because they're soaked in a dirty diaper and want to be cleaned up IMMEDIATELY.

Or they're too warm/cold and want the temperature to be adjusted IMMEDIATELY.

Or they're fussy and demand for some tender, loving cuddles IMMEDIATELY.

Newborns appear to be angelic and innocent, but they're the ones in total control: the grown-ups run helter-skelter, trying to decipher every cry and whimper, second-guessing what the babies want/need. Depending on which school of thought you might be accustomed to, some adults jump up and attend to the baby's every audible squeak while others believe discipline and training begins the very day the child is born.

But I digress. There are just too many thoughts running through my head right now and I really don't have the luxury of time to sit down and organise them properly because the baby is asleep now and this is my chance to ramble...

So. Exactly two weeks ago, on 4 March 2014, I delivered my fourth (and final) child.

I'd just visited Dr Lim's the day before and I was only 1cm dilated even though the baby's head was engaged i.e. ready to pop. She also highlighted that the little tenant was facing the wrong direction and may take a while before she moves to the right position. Since the tenant's estimated day of arrival was 7 March, Dr Lim said that if I didn't show any signs of labour by 6 March, I'd have to be admitted and she'd have to induce the birth.

I decided that a little "walking" would do some good so after my visit to Dr Lim's, I persuaded the hub to drive me to Plaza Singapura for a nice spot of Japanese food and some last minute shopping. As he was busy rushing projects, the hub ordered takeaways for himself and his staff while I sat at our favourite haunt, Kai Sushi & Grill, and enjoyed my stir-fried beef set. I spent the next 2 hours waddling around, stopping to buy a few new pieces of clothing for the tenant. I'd given away almost all of the girls' baby clothes so it was really back to basics.

It was about 3-ish when I realised lugging the additional 14kg was exhausting. Didn't help that I was plagued by sciatica midway through my pregnancy and prolonged movements were excruciating. I boarded the train along the North-East line and thankfully was able to get a seat (it was off-peak period).

I suppose all that extra walking in the mall did the trick. The contractions began close to midnight and initially I struggled to catch some winks because I thought they were false alarms. However, by 2 plus in the wee hours, the contractions gained intensity and I started timing them: 5 minutes apart. Reluctantly, I woke the snoring hub and got my hospital bag ready.

We reached Mt. Alvernia Hospital at about 3.30am, did the necessary administrative procedures, entered the delivery suite and then we waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

The contractions were strong and regular. But my cervix wasn't quite "ripe" and after 6 hours, I was barely 3am dilated. GAH!

Dr Lim strolled in at about 9 plus, checked me and broke my waters to hasten the birthing process. I was also put on the oxytocin drip to induce labour. The nurses were convinced that I'd be done by noon, since it was my fourth time. And my contractions were on track.

I'd (foolishly) opted for natural, non-epidural delivery again, much to the surprise of the nurses who exclaimed that I was one of the few women these days to do so. I figured that since I'd experienced childbirth without epidural thrice and survived, I might as well go for it again. Plus, I was concerned that I wouldn't know how to push if I couldn't feel anything below my waist. As far as possible, I wanted to avoid an emergency C-section.

I was getting impatient by 11am. This was by far the longest I'd ever been in a delivery ward as my previous three were relatively quick (less than 4 hours). By then, the contractions were beginning to slip into the "unbearable" state. Actually I was hoping to do without any other pain killers but the nurse saw my readings and suggested that I use entonox (gas and air) as I has done so previously. She explained that my body could be reacting to the pain and this could be counterproductive. I took her advice and she also gave me a pethidine jab which helped me to relax.

Within half an hour, the waves of contractions were merciless and even the entonox wasn't much of a help. That's when the hustle and bustle began as the nurses swarmed into action. I could feel the baby's head pushing down the birth canal even before Dr Lim's arrival. Of course, my OB/GYN is very experienced and she calmly walked in just in time for the delivery.

Even in my throes of anguish, I could make out the conversations around me and heard Dr Lim announcing merrily to everyone, "This one's an experienced mother. She knows how to push."

And then the birthing process began and all I could think about was: "Why the #$%^ did I not take the @#$%! epidural?!?!?" and "I can't believe I'm doing this AGAIN! !@#$%&!!!"

Actually, the scariest bit wasn't the pain/torture of childbirth. And I only found out MUCH later when the hub recounted (hours later, when I'd sufficiently rested) what happened in the delivery suite. Nobody was going to tell me anything there and then while I was desperately huffing and puffing away, totally focused on evicting the tenant.

As mentioned earlier, the baby was in the wrong position so during my first push, her head appeared and Dr Lim had to physically twist - YES, TWIST - the head (and presumably her body) to face upwards. When I pushed the second time, the tenant slithered out and that's when Dr Lim realised the umbilical cord wound around the baby's neck! Dr Lim then expertly manoeuvred the baby around and untangled the cord.

*&^%$#@!

Oh. My. Freaking. Gawd.

The horror stories of babies strangled by umbilical cords haunted me in nightmares. And I NEVER expected this could happen to me and my baby.

I'm extremely thankful and grateful for Dr Lim's skills and experience. Perhaps it's a common occurrence but our previous three didn't give us such a deathly scare so we were completely unprepared for such a heart-stopping incident.

Talk about making a dramatic entrance.

Anyway, it's time to present our latest Leonglet, my tenant no more:

Hello. I am Number 4.

Qi (that's her Chinese name) weighed 3.460kg and was 50cm in length. I was a little surprised because I'd expected her to be heavier than Wei.

My four beautiful Leonglets (from L to R): Wen, Qi, Xian and Wei

And she's the only one among my babies who wasn't allowed to be discharged after two days because her jaundice levels were high. So yes, we extended out hospital stay for another two days and because Qi's on a fully breastmilk diet, I had to be with her. I refused the option of substituting with formula milk and figured it would be too stressful for me to pump out the milk (there isn't much in the first few days) and bring it to the hospital for her. Yeah, I'm stubborn that way.

After two weeks (and two visits to the pediatrician for review), Qi is still looking jaundiced. We've been diligently "exposing" her to a daily dose of vitamin D in the mornings for about half-an-hour and will continue to do so until she looks less yellowish. :{

"Mr Sun, Sun, Mr Golden Sun...Please shine down on meeeee"

The first week back home was tough for me because I was sleep deprived and stressed over Qi's jaundice. Her sisters were also overly excited and kept running into the room to "check" on the baby, and this irked me tremendously because I desperately needed the rest.

Being a mum to a newborn again after a hiatus of 6 years isn't ideal, especially when I'm pushing 40 and my attention span needs to be divided between all my kids. The only consolation is that the girls are old enough to help out with the baby - especially during diaper changing time. Wen's the expert in this area and she will systematically lay out the essentials on the bed: changing mat, diaper, wet wipes and diaper cream.  Wei has become Qi's masseuse and enjoys applying baby lotion on her hands and legs. Xian, being the eldest and 12 years older than Qi, watches her while I eat/bathe/visit the loo etc.

Fortunately, things are getting better because I'm now accustomed to an-all-too-familiar routine - not too tough to get back into the swing of things after a while, really. It's only now that I realised how much I miss the days of caring for a newborn.

And I suppose I'd better enjoy it while it lasts because I'm pretty certain Qi will be my final baby.

March Baby like Daddy?

It's week 39 and Number 4's still snuggly and comfy in the womb.

I shouldn't be complaining, really. I was worried she might have been too eager to see the world and make her grand entrance when she turned 38 weeks.

On the work front, there's tonnes of administrative stuff I'd to finish before I take my maternity leave. Last week was super hectic as I was rushing to clear staff appraisals and my Film T&C paper exam only ended yesterday. Immediately after the paper was over, I scooped up the scripts and holed up in a small meeting room to mark my share of the pile. I managed to complete my portion and handed them over to my co-tutor who now has the unenviable task of taking over as Subject Leader (and tying up loose ends like processing the results and writing the examiner's report).

Plus Dr Lim was away and I *really* didn't want a random doctor delivering my kid.

Number 4's been really co-operative and understanding by staying put. But now that I'm done with what I set out to complete, I'm getting a little impatient. Part of me was hoping she'd choose to be out on the last day of February.

I reckon she wants to be a March babe. Like her father.

Ok, Number 4. Your tenancy is coming to an end and you'll be evicted by next Friday.

See you soon, baby!

Last Minute Shopping

Just 3 weeks more to go!

During the weekend a sense of urgency gripped me and I started to panic a little about Number 4's arrival.

I hadn't done much to prepare for her birth. Perhaps it's because I'm not particularly excited - she's going to be my 4th baby after all. 

Then again, it's been 6 years since I'd to go through the entire cycle so I have to jiggle my brains a little to recall what's to be done.

On Sunday, I finally decided to raid the cupboards and storeroom to check if I could recycle some baby stuff. All the milk bottles had been discarded - I would have thrown them away too because the plastic would've turned icky yellow with age. Since I'll be breastfeeding exclusively, the bottles will come in handy only at a later stage when I head back to work (or when helpful caregivers try to sneak in "water feeds" while I'm showering). 

So I trooped over to Happy Mom Happy Baby (which is conveniently next to our pet shop Woofy's Corner) and asked the ever-chirpy Jennifer for some help. I was a little overwhelmed by the range of products because the last time I scoured for baby stuff was 6 years back! 

Anyway, with Jennifer's recommendation I bought a Dr. Brown's Natural Flow® standard bottle, two Medela milk storage bottles, a pack of Unimom breast pads and a pack of Huggies® Newborn Diapers. 

Then it occurred to me that my trusty Medela Mini Electric pump (which served me dutifully since Xian's birth 12 years ago) may NOT be in working condition! Again, it seemed a waste to buy a new breast pump for over $200 since I don't intend to have any more kids after Number 4. So I got home, ransacked my drawers, pulled out the pump, assembled the parts, attached the funnel and switched on the electricity...

...and it STILL works! YAY!

To ensure it was REALLY working, I tried it out, just to check the suction power.

Yup, it's still able to urm, extract milk.

In any case, if I am desperate need to get a breast pump, Jennifer said I could rent one from her. Just the motor and pump, not the accessories of course, for personal hygiene reasons. 

That very evening I started worrying about my Saturday routine of dropping the older girls at various enrichment centres/dance classes/swimming lessons. Who's going to mind Number 4 while I'm carrying out my chauffeur duties? The only was was to bring her along with me.

And that was when I realised we NEED an infant car seat!

I dusted off our Maxi-Cosi Priori toddler car seat (which again served us faithfully for years) but it wasn't suitable for newborns/infants. With the 3 older girls, I didn't drive and we didn't really bring them out regularly until they were about 6 months and they could sit upright in the car seat.

The hub and I were reluctant to splurge on a swanky, brand new infant car seat that would serve us for only a couple of months. As the car seat's going to be installed in my little hatchback Pollie, we had to get one that would fit at the back and still have room for Wen and Wei since Xian would probably be seated in front.

I turned to the forums and auction sites to search for a pre-loved one. And managed to find a Maxi-Cosi CabrioFix for S$150. (New one's selling for about $380). The hub drove down on Monday afternoon to the seller's and texted me to say it's in pretty good condition, so he got it.

And here it is:

Pimp my ride, yo!

I know many people who shake their heads/cluck their tongues and slap us with a 'SCROOGE' tag for not giving "the best" to Number 4. Well, we aren't exactly rolling in riches and have had to watch our expenses in the last 2 years. The hub was taking a year-long break from work to sort out his career and he struck out on his own last year so admittedly we ARE counting our pennies.

And raising kids doesn't come cheap. If we have to scrimp and save to maintain a simple standard of living, I think it's worth the while. Isn't it more important for us to spend quality time with the kids?

Our girls aren't bred on branded goods, extravagant holidays and gourmet cuisine. We hardly go to the malls except for the occasional treat to the movies. They're happy chasing after the dogs (and each other), cycling, walking the dogs and dancing around the house. So far they're not shackled to technological gadgets (they don't own mobile phones or devices) and have no access to the computer unless I'm home. And I plan to keep it that way for as long as possible.

Anyway, I'll be hitting 38 weeks in a few days and still trying to remember if there's anything else I missed out. I'm quite sure I've forgotten a few things. Just hope I'll still have the time to buy/get them before Number 4's arrival.

Weighty Issues

Went for my check-up today and was surprised I gained only 0.8kg in the last two weeks. That extra weight's gone to Number 4 who's now approximately 2.85kg.

At 36 weeks, she's already heavier than Xian who weighed a mere 2.59kg at birth. Wen was 3.2kg and Wei was 3.5kg. Unless Number 4 decides to pop within the two weeks, she'll probably be a 3+kg newborn.

My mum's obsessed with the baby's weight (and mine) and her first question after every visit to the doctor is "What's the baby's weight now? How much do you weigh? How much weight did you put on?"

I understand why she's concerned. Xian was considered "small" and she was so fragile at birth I was worried about carrying her or changing her clothes after her bath because I didn't want to accidentally break her limbs. As a first-time mum then, every experience was new and I didn't have the confidence  to handle such a delicate baby.

When Wen and Wei came along, they were considerably "bigger" and I realised it was easier to take care of "larger" babies. Perhaps I was more experienced by then and with Wei, I was the primary care-giver during my maternity leave as MIL had difficulty walking and wasn't able to stand/sit/bend for too long. Despite the traditional taboo that a new mum shouldn't touch water during confinement, I bathed and changed Wei myself because I didn't have extra help. I'm quite sure this would be the same arrangement for Number 4 too.

As for myself, I've packed on a total of 13.5kg so far and with about 3 weeks to go, I may gain another 2kg or so.

I'm bloated, clumsy and waddling awkwardly. Yeah, I can definitely relate to a walrus now. Colleagues comment that my belly's huge and keep asking me when I'm going to 'pop'. My reply's "Anytime now" because I really have no clue when Number 4 will decide to make her appearance. I sure hope she won't choose her birthday between 22 to 28 February as Dr Lim will be overseas then and in the worst case, she'll be delivered by another doctor. That was what happened to Xian who decided to arrive at 38 weeks, 2 days before Dr Lim came back from her holiday!

Alas, there's no way to predict these natural occurrences and we'd rather not induce her birth just to "choose" an auspicious date and "determine" her fate. I guess we'll just let her stay in there till she's ready to face the world.

See you soon in the next few days/weeks Number 4.

36 Weeks

I have taken an extended break - almost a year off - from writing.

Have I been lazy? Yes. Absolutely. And these days, with Twitter, Instagram and Facebook so easily available, providing status updates, airing grievances and spewing random rantings have never been more convenient.

But I do miss constructing my thoughts and structuring them into the written form.

Here's an update of my life so far: The two older girls are in primary school and bombarded daily with tonnes of homework. Like most working mothers, I *try* to help them with their work even though I regrettably admit I am not disciplined enough to supervise them closely. Honestly, after a full day at the office, how many working mums have the energy to be all smiles and perky? More often than not, I lose my cool far too easily when careless mistakes are committed. I hate it when I morph into an unreasonable and impatient being, my crescendo shrills reverberating around the house.

It's a dreaded routine: the minute I'm back home, I ask them if they've completed their homework and if they haven't, they'll have to sit down next to me to finish up while I'm having dinner.

Xian's now in Primary Six and she's a little more disciplined than before, so she usually gets her homework done before I'm home. Only trouble is that she's unwilling to do any extra revision on her own as she believes finishing her school work is sufficient. This is a crucial year for her and at the rate she's progressing, it's going to take a miracle for her to pass reasonably well to get back to St. Nicholas. And I'm not even talking about getting 4As or distinctions since she's unlikely to even sniff a single A and passing is a problem.

Wen's moved on to Primary Three and she's still got the cool-as-cucumber, nonchalant attitude towards school. She's unfazed by terrible grades and won't bat an eyelid even if she fares badly on tests. She'll just shrug her shoulders and give me that "I've done what I could. What else do you want from me?" look. It's absolutely frustrating because she's capable of doing WAY better but she chooses to put in minimal effort and switches on the cruise control mode. Needless to say, her grades aren't reflective of her potential academic ability - and this is precisely what gets my goat.

Wei's in her last year of pre-school and she's the only one who doesn't require constant nagging to do her homework. She's naturally competitive and when she sees her sisters being chided for not completing school work, she's quick to "disassociate" herself by providing "evidence" of work done. While the other two baulk at the thought of doing extra work, Wei would volunteer to complete the assessment books and even asks me to buy more when she's done. Unfortunately, she is still unable to read despite going for phonics classes. I'm hoping she's not dyslexic like Xian who only managed to read independently after attending classes at the Dyslexia Association of Singapore (DAS).

And then there's Number 4.

Yes, that's right. There's another one who's yet to make her appearance.

Neither Bonus nor Lost survived the first trimester and that experience completely broke my heart in 2012. It took me several months to pick myself up and move on, even though the pain never really subsided. Naturally, when I conceived last year, I was worried about losing this one too. So I decided not to jinx my pregnancy and kept mum about it. Even my relatives were unaware I was pregnant until last week when I visited them during Chinese New Year. And when they saw me waddling in - huge bloated belly and all - their spontaneous reaction was priceless.

The first question on their lips?

"Boy or girl?" (Since I already have three daughters, they were rooting for a boy, of course.)

Most of them were disappointed when I revealed that I'd be saving tonnes of money on clothes and that Number 4 will be going to her sisters' school.

Granted, the hub and I were also hoping for a son. Not because we're gender bias or supremely traditional, but we wanted to experience what it would be like parenting a boy. Obviously fate has other plans for us.  What we really hope for now is to be blessed with a normal, healthy baby child.

And no, we are NOT going to try for a boy. Four kids is already stretching our finances to the max. Plus I don't fancy going through this whole cycle again. There's a REAL difference when you're preggers in the 20s and 30s. I'm hitting 40 this year so my bio-clock is close to the expiry date.

I'm now 36 weeks into my fourth successful pregnancy. During my last check-up at the doc's, my little tenant weighed approximately 2.2kg and if she stays in there till full term, she's likely to tip the scales at 3kg and above. Here's a 3D scanned image of my Number 4 in utero:

Hello. I am Number 4.

And so the countdown begins. She's all snug and comfy in there but it's only a matter of weeks before she's booted out of my womb.

A new chapter awaits.