Billy Boyd: The Last Goodbye

It's been four weeks.

It's not getting easier. In fact, the "brave" front I've tried hard to put up is crumbling. Ironically, I'm not holding up as well as I did in the initial days of Dad's passing. I tried to keep busy at work, but I can't seem to get my act together. The slightest trigger sets me off, and my poor girls are the ones who bear the brunt of my emotional rages. And I am angry with myself for making them them upset.

All this shall pass, that I know. The process of healing will be a long, arduous task. Those who have lost will understand. Those who haven't witnessed a love one pass on will claim they do and try to emphatise. But they won't until they experience it. And then there are the practical ones who matter-of-factly advise that the only thing certain in Life is Death, so I shouldn't wallow in grief.

I appreciate their good intentions, but I also want to politely remind them that everyone is different, and how we express our emotions is unique to each individual. Please don't judge.

Dad, I know you're watching over me. I don't want to disappoint you, but I could really use some of your help right now to be strong.

Sharing Billy Boyd's The Last Goodbye from The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies. I imagine that's what he would be saying to each and everyone of us - "I bid you all a very fond farewell."



The Last Goodbye

I saw the light fade from the sky
On the wind I heard a sigh
As the snowflakes cover
My fallen brothers
I will say this last goodbye

Night is now falling
So ends this day
The road is now calling
And I must away

Over hill and under tree
Through lands where never light has shone
By silver streams that run down to the sea

Under cloud, beneath the stars
Over snow and winter's morn
I turn at last to paths that lead home

And though where the road then takes me,
I cannot tell
We came all this way
But now comes the day
To bid you farewell

Many places I have been
Many sorrows I have seen
But I don't regret
Nor will I forget
All who took that road with me

Night is now falling
So ends this day
The road is now calling
And I must away

Over hill, and under tree
Through lands where never light has shone
By silver streams that run down to the sea

To these memories I will hold
With your blessing I will go
To turn at last to paths that lead home

And though where the road then takes me,
I cannot tell
We came all this way
But now comes the day
To bid you farewell

I bid you all a very fond farewell

Annie Lennox: Into the West

I don't think Dad was ever a Tolkien fan - even if he was, he wasn't obsessively consumed by the The Lord of the Rings / The Hobbit trilogies like me.

I've always loved this Annie Lennox number which won an Oscar for Best Song. But now, the lyrics hold special meaning for me.

It's been exactly one week since Dad's passing and the emptiness is creeping in. I'm missing him much more than I ever thought I would.



Into the West

Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You have come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon
Why do the white gulls call
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
All souls pass

Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time
Don't say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again

And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon
Why do the white gulls call
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home
And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the west

The Hobbit Official Trailer #1 - Lord of the Rings Movie (2012) HD

Oh. My. Freakin' Gawd.

This trailer REALLY REALLY made my day and I can barely wait till December 2012 when it's going to be released!

I read The Hobbit when I was 13 but I picked it up again after I watched the LOTR trilogy (my all-time favourite movies) and everything made a lot more sense after that.

You can bet I'll be watching it - wouldn't miss it for the world! And knowing it's Peter Jackson means there'll be too much material for a 3hour feature film so many scenes will be deleted and released as an extended version.

And you can bet I'll be getting the extended DVD when it's out too!

Long Live Peter Jackson!

Midnight Movie Date

We're boring folk.

That's the conclusion the hub and I resignedly came to on Saturday night.

It was an unusual Saturday night on all counts. Both MIL and FIL were at home as they didn't go over to either BIL's places for the weekend. MIL was still nursing a bad cough and didn't want to spread the bug to her other grandchildren.

So the hub suggested, after dinner, that we catch a movie since we've got help to mind the kids.

Now, watching a movie on a Saturday night may be a De facto activity for dating couples but it's a rare treat for those married with young kids. More so for boring people like the hub and I.

So why do we classify ourselves as "boring"?

Well, as far back as I can remember (since mid 1995 when we started going out) the both of us have probably watched a midnight movie together a grand total of...

*shudders embarrassingly*

...less than 5 times in 16 years!

Amazing right?

Neither did we notoriously club-hop, wantonly pump alcohol into our systems and wildly party till the wee hours of the morning. Plus, I just don't like the stale smoke smell on my hair and clothes. Our self-imposed curfew was to reach home before midnight (yes, even when we both started working) because it was just expensive to hail a cab after midnight and we were trying to scrimp and save every bit we could for the wedding/house/future.

Yes, we are geeks in our own right. The hub's a computer nerd (whether he cares to admit it or not) and used to spend hours on end playing computer games although the xbox 360 is now collecting dust because he doesn't have the luxury of time to play the long-drawn games for hours. He's now mucking around with simple games on his iPhone 4.

I'm not too cool myself either and in the precious pockets of time I can steal for myself, I prefer to plonk in front of the computer to pen my blog (a rarity these days), update my tweets (not as frequently as others) or play games in Facebook. When I used to commute via public transport, that was my chance to catch up on some reading. My all-time favourite genre? Children's Fantasy novels like the Harry Potter books, LOTR etc. I own about 300 movie-inspired toy collectibles from the LOTR trilogy, Tim Burton's Corpse Bride and The Nightmare Before Christmas. And I'm an avid film and TV buff.

Anyway, I digress.

So yes, this middle-aged geek couple decided on Saturday to do what most normal couples do: go on a movie date. It was a toss-up between Thor and Priest but the only problem was that all the tickets were selling out fast so we journeyed to AMK Hub which was about 15 minutes drive from our home. Unfortunately the earliest show we could get reasonably good seats for was midnight. We went ahead to buy the tickets to Thor anyway.

Trouble was that it was only 9.30pm and we weren't sure what to do so besides, well, our regular obligatory grocery shopping duties at NTUC supermarket.

How positively romantic. Heh. But there wasn't much of a choice as all other retail shops were drawing their shutters down.

Even after we bought our weekly supermarket supplies, we still had an hour to spare and wandered into McDonald's for a snack. The placed was packed and were both surprised that so many people milling about so late in the night. (Don't forget that we hardly ever venture out of our front gates after 10pm.) We found seats and I got a Apple Crumble, Cinnamon Melts, a Cappuccino and a Mochaccino from the McCafé section.

Surrounded by noisy chatter, it wasn't exactly an idyllic setting for cosy tête-à-tête but we made do and enjoyed our little quiet time and supper together.

And then it was movie time!

On our way back, the hub commented that we're really a very "unhappening" pair. While dating couples usually enjoy a more eventful life before marriage and kids, we only started injecting some measure of excitement into ours recently by attending concerts and performances -especially now that the girls are older and more independent.

Indeed, we're starting to spend more quality time as a hub-and-wifey team sans kids. That's something nice to look forward to every once in a while.

New Skin

Here it is.

A new blogskin. Regretfully, I still can't figure out what's wrong with my Hobbit template despite reloading it back up a few thousand times.

Ah well. Perhaps it's just time for a change.

The Hobbit Template's Wonky!

For some strange and unknown reason, The Hobbit template that I've been using for this blogspot has gone wonky!

Even after reloading the template, the header picture disappeared. I'm no HTML guru and am illiterate in IT-related programming language, so I guess for now my only option is to change this into a classic, simple template.

*Sigh*

I really do love the The Hobbit template - it's in line with my LOTR theme. Will need to spend some time to figure out what went wrong!

the final 3

as most of you know, during the 2 weeks before i gave birth to terrorliza, i'd taken leave and stayed home to prepare for her delivery.

naturally, with some spare time during the mornings when my older girls were in school, i squeezed out some "me time" and spent the hours surfing the net for - what else - the remaining few LOTR toys missing from my collection.

i tracked down 3 rare (and expensive) figurines, lost some of the bids on ebay (i'm not that desperate to pay hefty sums for the toys, no matter how much i want them, especially since i had to pay for international shipping, plus they were in USD) and finally got them!

FOTR Orc Overseer

FOTR Orc Warrior

TTT Moria Orc

yes, all the hideous orcs which wen calls "mummy's mor-mors" (monsters). they've arrived safely from USA and are peering evilly out from their boxes.

total damage? US$63.52/S$88.41

• FOTR Orc Overseer and FOTR Orc Warrior: US$8.99 + US$10.99 + US$20.25 (shipping) = US$40.23 /S$55.78
• TTT Moria Orc: US$10.50 + US$12.99 (shipping) = US$23.29 / S$32.63

the hub didn't even bat an eyelid when the packages arrived from the States. he just shrugged his shoulders and gave me the "whatever makes you happy" look.

anyway, i'm quite certain there aren't any figurines out there left for me to buy. the ones i don't own are the ones i don't really fancy.

so yeah, i think i've just bought the last 3 of the LOTR toybiz figurines i want.

this time, i really think it's the end. :P

more toys!??!?!??!!!

i've been at it again.

just when i *thought* there weren't anymore LOTR figurines i'd be keen to get, i was lured to surf ebay sites last week because i was, well, bored.

really didn't expect to bid for anything, since i've got most of the toys. but there were still a few rare figurines which have eluded my grasp, mostly because at the peak of LOTR's popularity, these items were too expensive to consider buying. the prices have gone down a little though i'm still prudent in overbidding.

but what reignited my curiosity was the special delivery made by my trusty lieutenant’s brother.

that's right. the purchases i'd made last year were sent to my lieutenant’s home in UK, and when her mum and brother visited her, they lugged back 6 toys for me:

• Deluxe Horse and Rider Set Arwen and Asfaloth


• Grima Wormtongue


• Grishnákh


• Prologue Bilbo


• Rohirrim Soldier


• Ugluk

oooooooo. that was the catalyst which prompted me to search for more treasures to add to my collection.

since last week, i've acquired 3 more LOTR figurines from ebay (USA and UK) and yahoo auctions locally:

Saruman with Palantir

Elven Archer and Berserker Uruk Hai

Gorbag and Webbed Frodo

looks like i'm still as mad over my LOTR toys as ever, and this song by depeche mode sums it up:

Cirnellë Culnámo

"Cirnellë Culnámo"

heh. apparently, that's my elven name, according to http://www.chriswetherell.com/elf/

and i don't even know how to pronounce it!

and http://www.chriswetherell.com/hobbit/ generated my hobbit name as "Beryl Proudfoot". :)

middle-earth maniac

while browsing through the shelves of kinokuniya last month for some read-worthy material, i picked up The Battle for Middle-earth, a literary commentary which aims to prove that LOTR is a theological narrative.

in the book, the author paints JRR Tolkien as a deeply religious writer and draws many parallelisms between LOTR and the Bible.

the observations were most interesting. plus it made a fair bit of sense. (i'm not a christian though my 10 years in catholic school exposed me to the old and new testaments in the Bible.)

it was the sort of analytical stuff that i had to plough through over a decade ago when i was an english literature undergraduate. back then, of course, the stress was to complete the readings in a short span of time.

not surprisingly, it's reignited my interest in the original novel. i'm ashamed to admit that while i'd picked up The Hobbit when i was 13, i found it quite a frightful bore then. peter jackson's magical print-to-screen treatment of LOTR hooked me completely. i vividly recall rushing to buy the books just before (or is it after?) The Two Towers hit the cinemas in december 2002.

ahhhhh...

all this nostalgia has prompted me to reach for the yellowed copy of the first LOTR volume The Fellowship of the Rings, which i'm re-reading now at leisure - lingering on every word, phrase and description, savouring the text in its entirety.

i don't think i'll EVER grow bored of LOTR, be it the novels, films, toys or memorabilia.

renewed family ties

boy, am i glad it's friday!

this whole week's been a real mad rush. i was on a 2-full day (9am to 5pm) external training course at the civil service college but had to rush back to work on the 2nd day to facilitate the school's workshop from 6-9pm.

then i returned to work on wednesday for my full teaching load plus extra make-up sessions and another round of 3-hour workshop session in the evening.

and unfortunately, my thursday and friday timetables included 9am classes, which meant that my brain had to start cranking up way before my physically fatigued form did.

suffice to say any activity in my brain cells is going the way of the sabre-toothed tiger.

i really need to recharge the batteries this weekend.

nevertheless, it's been a fully enriching week. i managed to squeeze some time out to catch transformers with the hub and xian, visit the ol' right hand's newborn son at the hospital and won a bid for Deluxe Horse and Rider Set Arwen and Asfaloth on www.ebay.co.uk (which will temporarily stay with my trusty lieutenant) at a cost of £14.74.

all right, if you don't already know, i'm still obsessed with my LOTR collection even though toybiz has stopped churning out new figurines since 2005.

but what made my week extra special was that i'm now in touch with my cousins through MULTIPLY, thanks to my aunt who's hooked us up through this channel.

the importance of fostering family ties never occurred to me when i was younger. but now that i'm in my 30s, married with 2 children of my own, i suddenly realise that having a supportive network of loved ones, friends and relatives is crucial especially when one's emotional well-being is concerned.

it's been YEARS since i last kept in contact with xx though i occasionally sms her brother who recently migrated to new zealand with his family. i'm ashamed to admit that i don't really know much about xx. we're almost complete strangers. she's always been a bit shy/quiet and we hardly communicated while growing up. so it's quite heartening to see that she's opened up a little.

i look forward to catching up with her - to me, it's never too late to renew family ties.

ooh, somebody stop me!

it's JULY already!

every month, the same thing happens. i get all upset over how time speeds by, vow to accomplish more significant achievements within the month, fail miserably then grumble and moan about it publicly.

the month of june came and went
with a great deal of money spent
no thanks to a trip overseas
and a few minor shopping sprees...

apologies. i'm in a rambling mood.

the so-call great singapore sale is still on but i'm not really impressed. perhaps it's because i haven't really gone shopping at the major malls. and even though it was my birthday month in june, and i was entitled to 20% off my purchases at selected retail outlets, i didn't really maximise these offers. my major credit card killers were mainly from http://www.ebay.com/, the body shop, kinokuniya and http://www.acmamall.com/ (i stocked up on dr.seuss books on at the last 2). i also bought some clothes for the girls and birthday presents for my nieces and nephew.

and then, of course, little prince arif gamboled into our lives. the hub and i coughed out 2k each for the puppy. technically, arif's purchase has got nothing to do with the gss. he wasn't really on sale.

to add insult to injury, i foolishly destroyed my credit limit further by adding 2 more rare LOTR figurines to my expanding collection on friday through ebay - a very detailed rohirrim soldier and a hideous uruk-hai leader ugluk. a £22.50 damage approximately equivalent to S$71.00. still, it was steal! in singapore, both toys would cost about S$50 each as loose figurines, and probably more if they're in mint condition. and as usual my lieutenant will keep them safe in UK first:



methinks the hub's gonna stab himself with a spoon till he faints when he receives the credit card bill very very very soon.

Yellow Star

guess what? i've earned a star for being a good ebayer.

and i received a "certificate" as well!

and as you may very rightly guess, all my transactions are LOTR related. yes, LOTR figurines which i bid for, won and purchased from USA, UK and Canada. unfortunately, i didn't receive 2 of the figurines as i'd arranged for them to be shipped to my cousin loong in Canada and coincidentally, his office relocated at the same time and he hadn't informed me so the toys got "lost".

tough luck. but i still managed to get some pretty good deals and saved a tidy sum as the ebay auction sites are still a lot cheaper than online toy stores like http://www.toywiz.com/ and http://www.toyglobe.com/.

as a matter of fact, more than 1/2 of my LOTR collection were purchased either through yahoo auctions in singapore (where i've made about 40+ purchases) or ebay. it seems that yahoo's got a larger fan base here as compared to ebay. but it's the reverse overseas where ebay rules the online auction arena.

and this is all jules' fault. he introduced me to yahoo auctions and i got hooked. (thanks bro. i owe you!)

i still monitor the LOTR figurine sales occasionally even though i've got about 90% of the toybiz figurines already. a couple are still priced way out of my budget - i love them but i'm not mad enough to spend USD100 on a toy. throw in shipping costs and i think the hub would file for divorce on ground of insanity. (me insane over LOTR and him insane from having to put up with my LOTR obsession.)

2 weeks back i decided to give myself a birthday treat and bought 2 LOTR figurines from ebay: Grima Wormtongue and Grishnákh which are presently at my lieutenant's home in the UK. i'll only get them when her brother returns from visiting her, probably next year. but i'm in no real hurry and besides, i need to look for shelf space to house the latest additions.

in the meantime, i'm still on a lookout for rare LOTR figurines - boxed and in mint condition no less.

LOTR a la French and Saunders

it's good friday tomorrow and i'm in no mood whatsoever to do any serious work. besides, i've applied for leave in the afternoon which explains my restlessness.

so i've been goofing around and entertaining myself with clips from youtube when i chanced upon a spoof of the Lord of the Rings done by the brit supercomedy duo of Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders.

the 30 minutes video is loaded with countless innuendos and potshots - you've gotta know the story to appreciate the jokes - that got me cracking up. enjoy:

check out my new skin

i decided to give my blogspot a spanking new look.

naturally, i whopped with joy when i chanced upon this LOTR influenced skin - "the hobbit". the picture shows gandalf entering bilbo's hobbit hole, "the bag end" (which frodo inherited eventually).

my observant viewers would have noticed that i've changed my blog title and some of the headings as well. being a techno-dunce, i wasn't able to get the new template to work properly and even though i'm *supposed* to be able to make amendments to the fonts, text size and colours, it was impossible to do so through the blogger template. and i know next to nothing about HTML codes, so instead of shrinking the text to fit the space, i adopted the old-fashion caveman way: i edited the text altogether.

maybe i should go read up on some HTML / XML / CSS language though i probably wouldn't understand a single thing. if anyone can help enlighten me on this IT stuff, i'd be ever so grateful.

Into the West

Another excellent, dreamy tune from my favourite brit diva annie lennox taken off the LOTR: ROTK (Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King) soundtrack.

Into the West
by Annie Lennox

Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You have come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across a distant shore

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
All Souls pass

Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time

Don't say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again
And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon?
Why do the white gulls call?
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the West

May It Be

all lotr fans will definitely remember this soothingly haunting melody by Enya - it was featured in LOTR: FOTR (that's The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings for the uninitiated).

May It Be
by Enya

May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home

Mornie utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadows call
Will fly away
May it be you journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun

Mornie utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

A promise lives within you now

The LOTR fanatic speaks...

I want my preciousssssssssssssssssssssssss...

toys, that is.

I have gone through several "phases" in my LOTR action figurine hobby: from limiting my collection, to totally ignoring it and suddenly going berserk when I realise that there're other available sources for my figurines. Now I understand what an addiction is - a combination of tumultuous torture and pleasurable pain.

Now that I'm almost done collecting the Trilogy packs, I've moved on to the Retro packs. I'm selective though, and will only buy figurines which were never released in the Trilogy editions: Easterling Warrior, Grima Wormtongue, Grishnak, Faramir, Gondorian Ranger, Eowyn in Armour and Gollum (which came together with the Eowyn figure).  The damage done to my bank account in the last month was, ahem, "respectable", in US dollars or pounds. Most of the goodies were won through ebay auctions in USA and UK, and I have made arrangements for the toys to be delivered to my cousin's office in Canada and my Lieutenant's honeymoon suite in UK.

Trying desperately to curb my impulses a bit because I also realised that my cousin will be saddled with bulky toys when he returns to Singapore. So will my lieutenant when she flies back in October. (Really don't wanna make enemies out of friends and family members.)

The hub has been giving me evil, sinister looks every time he glances over my shoulder to audit my websurfing activities, primarily when I'm checking out the ebay and yahoo auction sites.

"Please. Stop buying already. There's NO SPACE for your toys!"

Naturally his pleas have fallen upon deaf ears.

Have turned my attention to posters now. Since I've got my own cubicle in the office to decorate, LOTR postcards and posters line the walls and I even bought an extra Helms Deep Legolas on Skateboard (My favourite figurine) to place on a shelf. My very own Middle Earth in my workspace located in the forest of ten pines. *HEAVENLY*.