Coldplay - Everglow (Single Version) - Official Video

Some songs just rip our hearts apart and open the floodgates.

This is one of them.

And I immediately think of Dad. It's been almost 2 years since his passing, and I've picked myself up and moved on.

But every now and then, in the most unexpected moments, I'll think of him.

Missing you Dad. Very, very much.



Everglow

oh they say people come, say people go
this particular diamond was extra special
and though you might be gone, and the world may not know
still I see you, celestial

like a lion you ran,  a goddess you rolled
like an eagle you circled, in perfect purple
so how come things move on, how come cars don’t slow
when it feels like the end of my world
when I should but I can’t let you go?

but when I’m cold, cold
oh when I’m cold, cold
there’s a light that you give me when I’m in shadow
there’s a feeling you give me, an everglow

like brothers in blood, sisters who ride
and we swore on that night we’d be friends til we die
but the changing of winds, and the way waters flow
life as short as the falling of snow
and now I’m gonna miss you I know

but when I’m cold, cold
in water rolled, salt
I know that you’re with me and the way you will show
and you’re with me wherever I go
and you give me this feeling this everglow

oh- I I I I
what I wouldn’t give for just a moment to hold
yeah I live for this feeling this everglow

so if you love someone, you should let them know
oh the light that you left me will everglow

Luther Vandross - Dance With My Father

Yesterday was Dad's 100 Day Death Anniversary.

We had a simple ceremony where prayers were chanted and there were offerings of vegetarian food and fruits. Dad would have preferred his spicy Indian dishes for sure, but we weren't allowed to bring our own food to the Ancestral Hall.

I'd dreamt of Dad again that very morning. This time, he actually asked, "Am I dead?"

Dad may be physically gone from our world but I believe he's very much alive and kicking in the spiritual realm.

Here's another song for you Dad. Very apt.




Dance with my Father

Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
And dance with my mother and me
And then
Spin me around 'till I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure
I was loved

If I could get another chance
Another walk
Another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
How I'd love love love
To dance with my father again

When I and my mother
Would disagree
To get my way I would run
From her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me
yeah yeah
Then finally make me do
Just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he
Would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance
One final step
One final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
Cause I'd love love love to
Dance with my father again

Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear how mama would cry for him
I'd pray for her even more than me
I'd pray for her even more than me

I know I'm praying for much to much
But could you send her
The only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But Dear Lord
She's dying to dance with my father again

Every night I fall asleep
And this is all I ever dream

Josh Groban - To where you are

Hey Dad

I'm not *really* a huge Josh Groban fan, but every time I hear this song, my heart shatters, the tears fall freely and I'm reminded of our loss.

Dad, this is exactly how I feel. Yes, I do miss you immensely. Who wouldn't?

Your daughter always
YC



To Where You Are

Who can say for certain?
Maybe you're still here
I feel you all around me
Your memories so clear

Deep in the stillness
I can hear you speak
You're still an inspiration
Can it be

That you are my forever love
And you are watching over me from up above?

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile

If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Are you gently sleeping
Here inside my dream?
And isn't faith believing?
All power can't be seen

As my heart holds you
Just one beat away
I cherish all you gave me
Everyday

'Cause you are my forever love
Watching me from up above
And I believe that angels breathe
And that love will live on and never leave

Fly me up to where you are
Beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight
To see you smile

If only for awhile
To know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

I know you're there
A breath away's not far
To where you are

Billy Boyd: The Last Goodbye

It's been four weeks.

It's not getting easier. In fact, the "brave" front I've tried hard to put up is crumbling. Ironically, I'm not holding up as well as I did in the initial days of Dad's passing. I tried to keep busy at work, but I can't seem to get my act together. The slightest trigger sets me off, and my poor girls are the ones who bear the brunt of my emotional rages. And I am angry with myself for making them them upset.

All this shall pass, that I know. The process of healing will be a long, arduous task. Those who have lost will understand. Those who haven't witnessed a love one pass on will claim they do and try to emphatise. But they won't until they experience it. And then there are the practical ones who matter-of-factly advise that the only thing certain in Life is Death, so I shouldn't wallow in grief.

I appreciate their good intentions, but I also want to politely remind them that everyone is different, and how we express our emotions is unique to each individual. Please don't judge.

Dad, I know you're watching over me. I don't want to disappoint you, but I could really use some of your help right now to be strong.

Sharing Billy Boyd's The Last Goodbye from The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies. I imagine that's what he would be saying to each and everyone of us - "I bid you all a very fond farewell."



The Last Goodbye

I saw the light fade from the sky
On the wind I heard a sigh
As the snowflakes cover
My fallen brothers
I will say this last goodbye

Night is now falling
So ends this day
The road is now calling
And I must away

Over hill and under tree
Through lands where never light has shone
By silver streams that run down to the sea

Under cloud, beneath the stars
Over snow and winter's morn
I turn at last to paths that lead home

And though where the road then takes me,
I cannot tell
We came all this way
But now comes the day
To bid you farewell

Many places I have been
Many sorrows I have seen
But I don't regret
Nor will I forget
All who took that road with me

Night is now falling
So ends this day
The road is now calling
And I must away

Over hill, and under tree
Through lands where never light has shone
By silver streams that run down to the sea

To these memories I will hold
With your blessing I will go
To turn at last to paths that lead home

And though where the road then takes me,
I cannot tell
We came all this way
But now comes the day
To bid you farewell

I bid you all a very fond farewell

Annie Lennox: Into the West

I don't think Dad was ever a Tolkien fan - even if he was, he wasn't obsessively consumed by the The Lord of the Rings / The Hobbit trilogies like me.

I've always loved this Annie Lennox number which won an Oscar for Best Song. But now, the lyrics hold special meaning for me.

It's been exactly one week since Dad's passing and the emptiness is creeping in. I'm missing him much more than I ever thought I would.



Into the West

Lay down
Your sweet and weary head
Night is falling
You have come to journey's end
Sleep now
And dream of the ones who came before
They are calling
From across the distant shore

Why do you weep?
What are these tears upon your face?
Soon you will see
All of your fears will pass away
Safe in my arms
You're only sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon
Why do the white gulls call
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home

And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
All souls pass

Hope fades
Into the world of night
Through shadows falling
Out of memory and time
Don't say
We have come now to the end
White shores are calling
You and I will meet again

And you'll be here in my arms
Just sleeping

What can you see
On the horizon
Why do the white gulls call
Across the sea
A pale moon rises
The ships have come to carry you home
And all will turn
To silver glass
A light on the water
Grey ships pass
Into the west

Sum (is) 41!

The hub turned 41 last week and it was a simple, quiet celebration i.e. we bought a cake, sang a birthday song, blew out the candles, cut the cake and ate the cake.

Our first family photo with the latest addition, Qi.

I felt a little guilty about not doing more - not that I could do much since I was still in the midst of my jail term confinement and wasn't supposed to be running around. Even stepping out of the house (with the hub and baby) to get the cake was considered a no-no. But it was a quick trip to MyVillage@SG's Bakerzin and that took half-an-hour and back.

Aside: MIL masked her disapproval by telling me how "back in the old days" women weren't allowed to go out during the confinement period and if they had to do so, they were supposed to be covered up from head to toe i.e. large straw hat, long sleeves and pants.

Naturally I just nodded and smiled, like all docile daughters-in-law should.

Before my tenant i.e. Qi was evicted, I was in no mood to scout around for the hub's birthday gift. The extra load of 14kg rendered me immobile for long periods but it was primarily sciatica that annoyed me because sudden movements would send a sharp pain shooting through my left buttock/back.

The first two weeks after my delivery were exhausting because I was adjusting to Qi's schedules and my almost-40 body was on the verge of keeling over. I know I've mentioned it a godzillion times but I'll say it again: have your babies YOUNG e.g. mid 20s to early 30s. There's a great difference and I've been through all those stages.

Since I was in jail confinement and obviously can't roam the malls, I turned to the Web in desperation, hoping to get some ideas. Unfortunately, nothing inspired me and I confessed to the hub days before his birthday that I didn't manage to get a present for him.

He just laughed and pointed to Qi who was nursing greedily. "No need to buy anything. That's the best birthday present I have."

Then as luck would have it, the hub was flipping through the newspapers and he spotted something.

"Eh, Kitaro is coming back to Singapore!"

Problem solved.

I went online and booked two tickets for 17 April 2014.

The hub's favourite musician: Kitaro

That settled, I'll have to worry about baby-sitting arrangements. Will need to give advance notice to MIL as she usually stays with one of the BILs and their families during weekends and the concert's on the eve of Good Friday. I'll have to express milk out for her feeds and this will prob be done in the next week and kept in freezer.

And then I'll have to raid my wardrobe to look for something presentable to wear since I haven't exactly lost all the weight I've put on, especially in the most expandable area. Wei prodded my flabby tummy and asked if I still have another bun baking in the oven. :'(

Less than two weeks to fit back into my clothes! Yikes!

Admittedly, I'm way too lazy to start a workout regime. Can't embark on a strict diet because I'm lactating and need to produce quality milk for Qi.

Anyway, I'll figure something out, even if I have to use sheets to create a Grecian look. Who knows, I may be able to pull it off!

In truth, I'm not a Kitaro fan - I once made the boo-boo of asking "What's that funeral music?" - but I've attended his concert twice with the hub and this upcoming one will be my third. When Slash came to Singapore I dragged the hub along and he was tormented with a ringing sound in his right ear for a week. (He HATES rock/metal music!) He didn't object when I insisted on catching Duran Duran and The Script even though he wasn't familiar with the latter's songs.

I guess we're even.

But I'm looking forward to spending some couple time with the hub, sans kids. It's been a month since Qi's arrival and everyone's been fussing over her, so it's easy to neglect him. We'll have the rare chance to enjoy some peace and quiet together for a few hours before we resume our parenting responsibilities.

A much belated birthday celebration for my life partner and father to our four gorgeous girls.

Imagine Dragons - Demons (Official)

My new favourite song.



Demons

When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold

When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood’s run stale

I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There’s nowhere we can hide

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

At the curtain’s call
It's the last of all
When the lights fade out
All the sinners crawl

So they dug your grave
And the masquerade
Will come calling out
At the mess you've made

Don't wanna let you down
But I am hell bound
Though this is all for you
Don't wanna hide the truth

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide
Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide
It’s where my demons hide

Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)

I heard this song TWICE on the radio today.

Ok, I'm not a huge fan of Kelly Clarkson but I do love the catchy beat and (especially) meaningful lyrics of this hit. And so do my three girls! :)



Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)

You know the bed feels warmer
Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in color
And do the things I want!

You think you've got the best of me
Think you've had enough the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I'd come running back
Baby, you don't know me, 'cause you're dead wrong

Chorus:
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes you fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone

Bridge:
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

You heard that I was starting over with someone new
They told you I was moving on, over you
You didn't think that I'd come back
I'd come back swinging
You tried to break me, but you see

Chorus:
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes you fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone

Bridge:
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me
You know in the end the day you left is just my beginning
In the end

The Script - Nothing

It's been exactly a week since I attended The Script's concert at the Singapore Indoor Stadium.

And. I'm *still* on a high. Wooooo-hoooooooooooooooooooo!

They're fabulous performers and I'll definitely watch them again if/when they come back to Singapore.

Here's my favourite song from their second album Science and Faith.

Nothing

Am I better off dead
Am I better off a quitter
They say I'm better off now
Then I ever was with her
As they take me to my local down the street
I'm smiling but I'm dying trying not to drag my feet
They say a few drinks will help me to forget her
But after one too many I know that I'm never
Only they can't see where this is gonna end
But they all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sense

[Chorus]
And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around

I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words,
And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred,
So I dialed her number and confessed to her,
I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing (nothing, nothing...)

So I stumble there, along the railings and the fences
I know if we're face to face then she'll come to her senses
Every drunk step and path leads me to her door
If she sees how much I'm hurting
She'll take me back for sure

[Chorus]
And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around

I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words,
And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred,
So I dialed her number and confessed to her,
I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing (nothing, nothing...)
She said nothing (nothing nothing)

Oh I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Oh I got nothing
Nothing
I got nothing
Nothing
Oh I wanted words but all I heard was nothing

Oh sometimes love's intoxicating
Oh you're coming down your hands are shaking
When you realise there's no one waiting

Am I better off dead
Am I better off a quitter
They say I'm better off now
Than I ever was with her

[Chorus]
And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
'Cause I'm shouting your name all over town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around

I know that I'm drunk but I'll say the words,
And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred,
So I dialed her number and confess to her,
I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing (nothing, nothing...)
She said nothing (Nothing, nothing...)
Oh I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Oh I got nothing (Nothing, nothing...)
I got nothing (Nothing, nothing...)

Oh I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Oh I got nothing (Nothing, nothing...)
I got nothing, I got nothing

Aerosmith - Jaded (Official Video)

Jaded.

Damn right I am.

I'm sick of the routine I've been put through these last few years. Work, kids, family etc.

Everything is driving me nuts.

I'm exactly like a hamster confined in a cage, scrambling on the exercise wheel in a bid to rid myself of the pent up energy and frustration.

Seriously, I'm so so so SICK of everything!

But as a responsible adult and so-called "role model" I've to put up with all that's hurled in my direction.

And so this vicious cycle continues. Terribly jaded, I am.

Queen - 'The Show Must Go On' (Music Video)

Inside my heart is breaking!
My make-up may be flaking...
But my smile, still, stays on!

This is one of Queen's most powerfully emotional songs from their album Innuendo, with the late-great Freddy Mecury working his magic right till the end of his final days.

And it's a not-too-gentle reminder for me as well.

Trust me, it has been difficult in the last few weeks, and despite my own insecurities and worries, I still need to put up a tough front and soldier on as if things are normal. During this period of emotional torture, I'm thankful for the loving support of the hub. He's been there for me every step of this journey, with his comforting words and warm embrace that held me together whenever I believed my world was crumbling.

No matter what's happening, the show must go on. Life continues and I must pull through all obstacles until I expire and breathe my last.



The Show Must Go On

Empty spaces - what are we living for?
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score..
On and on!
Does anybody know what we are looking for?

Another hero - another mindless crime.
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime.
Hold the line!
Does anybody want to take it anymore?
The Show must go on!
The Show must go on!Yeah!
Inside my heart is breaking,
My make-up may be flaking,
But my smile, still, stays on!

Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance.
Another heartache - another failed romance.
On and on...
Does anybody know what we are living for?
I guess i'm learning
I must be warmer now..
I'll soon be turning, round the corner now.
Outside the dawn is breaking,
But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free!

The Show must go on!
The Show must go on! Yeah,yeah!
Ooh! Inside my heart is breaking!
My make-up may be flaking...
But my smile, still, stays on!
Yeah! oh oh oh

My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies,
Fairy tales of yesterday, will grow but never die,
I can fly, my friends!

The Show must go on! Yeah!
The Show must go on!
I'll face it with a grin!
I'm never giving in!
On with the show!

I'll top the bill!
I'll overkill!
I have to find the will to carry on!
On with the show!
On with the show!

The Show must go on

Guns N' Roses - Patience

One of my favourite Guns N' Roses song.

And it's what I need to take me through the rest of 2012.



Patience

One, two, one, two, three, four
(whistle)
Shed a tear 'cause I'm missin' you
I'm still alright to smile
Girl, I think bout you every day now
Was a time when I wasn't sure
But you set my mind at ease
There is no doubt you're in my heart now

Said woman take it slow, and it'll work itself out fine
All we need is just a little patience
Said sugar take it slow and we'll come together fine
All we need is just a little patience
(patience)
Mmmm, yeah

I sit here on the stairs
'Cause I'd rather be alone
If I can't have you right now I'll wait dear
Sometimes I get so tense but I can't speed up the time
But you know love there's one more thing to consider

Said woman take it slow and it'll work itself out fine
You and I'll just use a little patience
Said sugar take the time cause the lights are shining bright
You and I've got what it takes to make it
We won't fake it, I'll never break it
'Cause I can't take it

(whistle)
Little patience, mmm yeah, mm yeah
Need a little patience, yeah
Just a little patience, yeah
Some more patience, yeah
Could use some patience, yeah
Gotta have some patience, yeah
All it takes is patience
Just a little patience
Is all you need (background vocals)

I've been walking the streets at night
Just trying to get it right
Its hard to see with so many around
You know I don't like being stuck in the crowd
And the streets don't change
But maybe the names
I ain't got time for the game cause I need you
Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'cause I need you
Ooo I need you, whoa I need you
Ooooh, all this time
(ah)

P!nk - Perfect

The last week hasn't been great for the family, especially for Xian and the hub.

Too much angst. Too much anger. Too many insecurities.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

My firstborn's growing up fast, and many issues have started to surface. She's academically weaker than her peers and struggling to keep up. And it really doesn't help that she's put under pressure to achieve better results. I'm not even talking about getting 'A's or 'B's. Obtaining a passing grade is already a tall order for someone with learning disabilities, regardless of how "mild" her dyslexia is.

The hub's facing challenges (both good and bad) at work. Being the perfectionist that he is, he places high demands on himself and on his colleagues, so you can well imagine the stress he's in.

Yes, I can be there to provide the emotional support for them, but at the end of the day, I can't jump in to take over the reigns because I'm not them. And we all have different coping mechanisms built into a our systems.

So P!nk's Perfect really resonates deeply. For Xian, my wish is that she'll overcome those insecurities, recognise her weaknesses and embrace her strengths. For the hub, my wish is that he opens up and realises that he can't always be a hero to bear the burden of the world on his shoulders. As I mentioned in one of my previous tweets: "No-one's perfect. Even Superman grows weak in the presence of Kryptonite."

We should all really forget about being faultless and perfect, and love ourselves wholeheartedly. Else we'll all be chasing after that elusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.



Perfect

Made a wrong turn, Once or twice
Dug my way out, Blood and fire
Bad decisions, That's alright
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss "no way, it's all good", It didn't slow me down
Mistaken, Always second guessing
Under estimated, Look, I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.

You're so mean,
When you talk, About yourself, You are wrong.
Change the voices, In your head
Make them like you Instead.

So complicated,
Look happy, You'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game.
It's enough, I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same.
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsty.com/pink-perfect-lyrics.html ]
Oh, Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.

The whole world stares so I swallow the fear,
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer.
So cool in line and we try, try, try,
But we try too hard, it's a waste of my time.
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair
We change ourselves and we do it all the time

Why do we do that? Why do I do that?
(Why do I do that?)

[Yeah~, Ohh~ pretty pretty please, Ohh~]

Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.

You're perfect, You're perfect
Pretty, pretty please
Don't you ever, ever feel
Like your less than perfect.
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like your nothing
You're perfect to me.

Miranda Lambert - Over You

I would have been in my 2nd trimester by now, if Bonus had survived.

Perhaps it's still very recent and raw, but I honestly don't think I'll ever get over this haunting experience. We all face many could-have-beens, would-have-beens, should-have-beens episodes in our lives. Losing Bonus is by far the most difficult one I've had to face by far.

Rest in peace, my darling Bonus.



Over You

Weather man said it's gonna snow,
By now I should be used to the cold.
Mid-February shouldn't be so scary.
It was only December,
I still remember the presents,the tree, you and me.

But you went away,
How dare you?
I miss you.
They say I'll be okay,
But I'm not going to ever get over you.

Living alone, here in this place,
I think of you and I'm not afraid.
Your favorite records make me feel better,
Cause you sing along with every song.

I know you didn't mean to give them to me.

But you went away,
How dare you?
I miss you.
They say I'll be okay,
But I'm not going to ever get over you.

It really sinks in, you know,
When I see it in stone

'Cause you went away
How dare you?
I miss you.
They say I'll be okay,
But I'm not going to ever get over you.

A Woman's Worth

A woman's self worth should never be measured solely on the number of heirs or successful children she's produced for her husband's family.

Yet, regrettably for the fairer sex, this is still the case even as we've crossed into the 21st Century.

How many times have I heard laments that a family's lineage is broken because there are no heirs to "carry down" the family name? Or that wives are not doing their duty by denying their husbands offspring? Or that husbands are entitled to take a lover in hopes of bearing a son? Or that working mothers are selfish and self-centred, unlike noble SAHMs who give up their careers for the sake of their children? Or that once married, a woman's lost her identity? Or that once a single woman's passed her sell-by date she's going to be a burden to society because she doesn't have a man by her side?

For whatever reasons, some people should stop offering "friendly" but unwanted advice. It's rude, intrusive and hurtful.

Before anyone criticises the seemingly footloose fancy-free DINKS (that's dual-income-no-kids for the clueless), I urge you to stop and think for a minute. Perhaps they do want kids but for some reason aren't able to conceive. And it's AWFUL to hear nosy relatives and friends asking why they haven't started family planning when they have been trying hard to get pregnant.

And for the ladies who've decided not to settled down legally, perhaps it's a blessing in disguise. And they're the ones who will get the last laugh.

Someone in the family (not related by blood, but purely by legal connections) once commented that when a woman is married, she's like water poured out of the front door. I was mortified that my life - and worth -  had been literally "washed away". I started to wonder what I'd gotten myself into. It was traumatic to learn that my value as a person was pegged to such out-dated perceptions of how an obedient wife / daughter-in-law / mother should behave.

Rubbish, I say. Utter rubbish. I am no slave to the family. My parents did not send me to school to watch me graduate with a bachelors and masters degree, only to became a second-rate citizen in my husband's family. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I'm worthless. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I don't have rights.

I've heard enough. And I'm stating this on record that I've had enough. I hang on only because I love my hub and kids dearly, and I'll protect them at all costs. And I want my three daughters to grow up knowing that it's perfectly all right to be girls, and that there's nothing to be ashamed of.

In spite of all the discrimination, I'm thankful that the hub's been silently supportive. Of course, there are times when the alpha male in him surfaces, but I don't blame him because he's been conditioned that way.

Anyway, Chinese families tend to favour sons over daughters and I've seen this even in my own family. It's no secret that my deceased grandfather held his sons in high esteem, and that his sons could do no wrong. Yet when he was at his deathbed, and my youngest aunt was his main care-giver, he was oblivious to her existence. He took her for granted and uttered no word of appreciation. Naturally, my aunt felt hurt, but she silently carried out her duty and was filial to the very end.

Times are changing, and society's beginning to slowly alter the perception of women's place in the larger scheme of things. While I'm still unable to escape these expectations, I must admit that I've had a much easier time compared to women decades ago. I can only hope that when my own girls start their own careers, and perhaps their own families, they'll be accepted for who they are and not what they're supposed to be.

Here's an apt song by Alicia Keys that summarises women's value in society.




A Woman's Worth

You could buy me diamonds
You could buy me pearls
Take me on a cruise around the world
Baby you know I'm worth it
Dinner lit by candles
Run my bubble bath
Make love tenderly to last, to last
Cause baby you know I'm worth it

Wanna please wanna keep wanna treat your woman right
Not just dough but to show that you know she is worth your time
You will lose if you chose to refuse to put her first
She will if she can find a man who knows her worth

[Chorus]
Cause a real man, knows a real woman when he sees her
And a real woman knows a real man ain't afraid to please her
And a real woman knows a real man always comes first
And a real man just can't deny a woman's worth

If you treat me fairly
I'll give you all my goods
Treat you like a real woman should
Baby I know you're worth it
If you never play me
Promise not to bluff
I'll hold you down when shit gets rough
Cause baby I know you're worth it

She walks the mile makes you smile all the while being true
Don't take for granted the passions that she has for you
You will lose if you chose to refuse to put her first
She will if she can find a man who knows her worth

[Chorus]

No need to read between the lines spelled out for you (spelled out for you)
Just hear this song cause you can't go wrong when you value (better value)
A woman's (woman's)
Woman's (woman's)
Worth!

Sarah McLachlan - Angel

To my little Bonus who's in the arms of an angel.

Angel is definitely one of my all-time favourite songs and it's by Sarah McLachlan who's my all-time favourite female artiste. Love her ethereal voice.

Angel

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

Red is ...

TODAYonline | World | Men prefer women dressed in red: Study

This is, well, interesting.

According to a new study, "Men are more attracted to women wearing red compared to other colours because they believe they are less likely to be rejected."

Does this means that when a girl's decked out in red she's more likely to get picked up?

The hub's favourite colour is red. Mine isn't (it's blue, if you must know). But over the years, I've accumulated a variety of red pieces primarily because of Chinese New Year.

If I take a quick look at my cupboard, hues of blue and turquoise dominate 65% of my wardrobe. It's natural that I'm more inclined towards these colours because they don't scream for attention and are easier on the eyes. Which is perfect for me since I don't like to stand out. If I could, I'd rather fly way below the radar and keep a really, really low profile.

What I do know and agree with is that red is a striking colour and if you're photographed in a red outfit, you appear more vibrant and energetic. The whole colour psychology kicks in - trust me on this as I've done my research for teaching purposes.

Just think of all the English phrases out there that include "red" e.g. "red-blooded", "red herring", "paint the town red", "seeing red", "red carpet", "red-letter day", "in the red", "red-light district" to name a few. Commonality? Love. Passion. Anger. Power. Sex.

This gives me an idea of what to get the hub for his birthday. Something red. Or what an ex-Singapore 'Beauty Queen' once uttered, "Something rad."

Chris De Burgh obviously knew what he was singing about back in 1986.

Enjoy this classic.

The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved

I know this isn't a new song. It's not even from The Script's latest album Science & Faith.

But I absolutely love it. LOVE IT!

The die-hard romantic in me embraces this song whole-heartedly because the lyrics are simple yet meaningful. Talk about being steadfast, loyal, faithful, hopelessly devoted and love-struck.
 

The Man Who Can't Be Moved

Going Back to the corner where I first saw you

Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move

Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand

Saying, "If you see this girl can you tell her where I am? "

Some try to hand me money, they don't understand

I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man

I know it makes no sense but what else can I do

How can I move on when I'm still in love with you

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me

And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be

Thinkin maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet

And you'll see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving, I'm not moving

Policeman says, "Son you can't stay here"

I said, "There's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year"

Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows

If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

[Chorus:]

'Cause If one day you wake up and find that you're missing me

And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be

Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet

And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street

So I'm not moving, I'm not moving,

I'm not moving, I'm not moving

People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl

There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world

Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved

Maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news

And you'll come running to the corner

'Cause you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved

[Chorus 2x]

Coldplay - Paradise

Funny how you can ALWAYS find a song that represents how you feel. Right now, Coldplay's Paradise is on repeat mode.

Paradise 

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep
Dreamed of para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Every time she closed her eyes
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth

Life goes on
It gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear, a waterfall
In the night, the stormy night
She closed her eyes
In the night, the stormy night
Away she'd fly.

And dreamed of para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh

She dreamed of para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

La la la La
La la la

So lying underneath those stormy skies.
She said oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
I know the sun must set to rise.

This could be para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
This could be para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

This could be para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Could be para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

This could be para- para- paradise
Para- para- paradise
Could be para- para- paradise
Whoa-oh-oh oh-oooh oh-oh-oh.

Oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo
Oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo, oo-oo-oo

Que Sera Sera

It's the simple things in life that bring joy to our hearts.

I can't speak for everyone else, but that holds true for me. Hugs and kisses from my lovely daughters are always a welcome gesture to brighten up a wearisome day.

Not so the chorus of disapproval and daily reports of their mischief that usually follow immediately after.

I wish and wish and wish I've reached a stage where I'm immune to the mutterings. Unfortunately, this all-encompassing aura of negativity constantly gnaws at my calcium-depleted bones and despite my resolve to remain unaffected, I'm too much of an emotional creature to wave it away.

At this point, I've all but given up trying to appease and please. Whatever I've done has never been satisfactory. I've taken it in my stride for the past decade but the walls are crumbling, and I'm losing my patience and temper more frequently.

So I've decided to adopt a "whatever" attitude and a new theme song via the evergreen Doris Day :)



The song never fails to put me in a happy mood - it was what my mum used to sing to me when I was younger, so I guess it's like a "comfort song" and it works much like how chocolate is my "comfort food".

From this moment on, I'm going to try humming this tune whenever I get agitated. And perhaps this will bring about a certain sense of serenity to my otherwise unbalanced emotional state.

I've got to try something right?

So yeah. Que Sera Sera.